Stan Stallman · @stanstallman
517 followers · 3860 posts · Server sfba.social
"My brother thinks he’s a chicken-We don’t talk him out of it because we need the eggs.”
Groucho Marx
#jokes #jokesonmastodon #jokesofmastodon
#jokes #jokesonmastodon #jokesofmastodon
Stan Stallman · @stanstallman
517 followers · 3833 posts · Server sfba.social
A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of chipmunks. He pulls the guy over and says...
"You can't drive around with chipmunks in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately."
The guy says "OK"... and drives away.
The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of chipmunks, and they're all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands...
"I thought I told you to take these chipmunks to the zoo yesterday?"
The guy replies...
"I did . . . today I'm taking them to the beach!"
#jokes #jokestodon #jokesonmastodon #jokesofmastodon #jokeoftheday #dadjokes
#jokes #jokestodon #jokesonmastodon #jokesofmastodon #jokeoftheday #dadjokes
Stan Stallman · @stanstallman
514 followers · 3814 posts · Server sfba.social
#jokesonmastodon #jokesofmastodon #jokesthatareonlyfunnytome #jokesonlyreallyooldcanuk
This guy inherits a parrot.
the parrot wont stop swearing at him, calling him a dumb f*ck, and a bunch of other names.
He tries everything to get this bird to stop swearing.
Nothing works. finally gets fed up and sticks him in the freezer.
Even from in there, he hears him cussing him out.
Then the parrot falls silent.
The guy thinks Ohh shit I killed him.
He opens the freezer.
The parrot hops out saying, " Very sorry for how I spoke to you, sir.
I just have one question... What did the chicken do?"
#jokesonmastodon #jokesofmastodon #jokesthatareonlyfunnytome #jokesonlyreallyooldcanuk
djvenus (she/her) · @mixolydia
11 followers · 38 posts · Server gardenstate.social
Michael Cabu (they/them) · @cabu
91 followers · 230 posts · Server nerdculture.deThe writer declined the position of headstone editor at the local cemetery. Too much chance for making a grave mistake. #jokesofmastodon
Crystal_Fish_Caves · @CrystalFishCaves
155 followers · 483 posts · Server mstdn.party
OMG I have been EATING potstickers!!! #crafts are not #food #jokesofmastodon #signsgonewrong #mislabeled
#crafts #food #jokesofmastodon #signsgonewrong #mislabeled
John Falstaff (#FollowMe Pls!) · @SirJohnFalstaff
111 followers · 216 posts · Server mastodon.social
John Falstaff (#FollowMe Pls!) · @SirJohnFalstaff
111 followers · 215 posts · Server mastodon.social
John Falstaff (#FollowMe Pls!) · @SirJohnFalstaff
107 followers · 212 posts · Server mastodon.social
Bobby Parker · @LegionBobo
723 followers · 293 posts · Server newsie.socialDoctor: Well, your arm is broken. You’ll need a cast for about 8 weeks, and you’ll be good as new.
Me: When the cast comes off, will I be able to play the piano?
Doctor: I don’t see why not.
Me: AWESOME!!!! I’ve always wanted to play the piano!!!
😁
John Falstaff (Follow Me Pls) · @SirJohnFalstaff
99 followers · 199 posts · Server mastodon.socialIf even a few of my past #newyearsresolution were adhered to, I would now weigh 30 lbs.
#newyearsresolution #jokes #joke #humor #jokesofmastodon
AnneFisher · @AnneTheWriter
1020 followers · 456 posts · Server mstdn.party
Some #memes in celebration of A.A. Milne's version of #WinnieThePooh entering the #PublicDomain .
Happy #HootinTootinTuesday !
(Don't forget to share some #humor of your own.)
#PublicDomainDay #Humour #Jokes #JokesOfMastodon #StarTrek #RedShirts #darmokandjaladattanagra #Darmok
#memes #winniethepooh #publicdomain #hootintootintuesday #humor #publicdomainday #humour #jokes #jokesofmastodon #startrek #redshirts #darmokandjaladattanagra #darmok
AnneFisher · @AnneTheWriter
1020 followers · 456 posts · Server mstdn.party
Look busy... #Jesus is coming.
#HootinTootinTuesday #Humor #Humour
#ReligiousHumor #JokesOfMastodon
#jesus #hootintootintuesday #humor #humour #religioushumor #jokesofmastodon
AnneFisher · @AnneTheWriter
1011 followers · 445 posts · Server mstdn.party
With the holiday weekend, I almost forgot...🤦♀️
It's #HootinTootinTuesday ! 😄
Please share some jokes, funny memes, and toots to give everyone a smile.
#Humor #Humour #Jokes
#JokesOfMastodon
#Jesus #ReligiousHumor
#hootintootintuesday #humor #humour #jokes #jokesofmastodon #jesus #religioushumor
John Falstaff (Follow Me Pls) · @SirJohnFalstaff
90 followers · 188 posts · Server mastodon.socialMy weight loss plan for 2023:
The S&P 500 down another 20%!
#jokesofmastodon #jokes #joke #newyearsresolution
John Falstaff (Follow Me Pls) · @SirJohnFalstaff
89 followers · 186 posts · Server mastodon.socialIs it wrong to use a leaf blower to sweep ones house instead of a broom?
#jokes #joke #humor #jokesofmastodon
John Falstaff (Follow Me Pls) · @SirJohnFalstaff
86 followers · 182 posts · Server mastodon.socialWhat's does one call Wordle while playing in the lavatory?
Turdle
#jokes #joke #humor #jokesofmastodon
Chris · @DailyJokes
0 followers · 9 posts · Server mstdn.party
Sarah · @MsGanoosh
98 followers · 93 posts · Server mastodon.socialWhat do you get when you cross an angry sheep with an angry cow?
You get two animals in a baaaaaad mooooood. 😂
Michael Cabu (they/them) · @cabu
69 followers · 84 posts · Server nerdculture.deTo take a break today in the office I tried to make and fly a paper airplane.
But it wouldn’t fly. It was just stationery. #jokesofmastodon