"My brother thinks he’s a chicken-We don’t talk him out of it because we need the eggs.”

Groucho Marx
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A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of chipmunks. He pulls the guy over and says...
"You can't drive around with chipmunks in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately."
The guy says "OK"... and drives away.
The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of chipmunks, and they're all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands...
"I thought I told you to take these chipmunks to the zoo yesterday?"
The guy replies...
"I did . . . today I'm taking them to the beach!"
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This guy inherits a parrot.
the parrot wont stop swearing at him, calling him a dumb f*ck, and a bunch of other names.
He tries everything to get this bird to stop swearing.
Nothing works. finally gets fed up and sticks him in the freezer.
Even from in there, he hears him cussing him out.
Then the parrot falls silent.
The guy thinks Ohh shit I killed him.
He opens the freezer.
The parrot hops out saying, " Very sorry for how I spoke to you, sir.
I just have one question... What did the chicken do?"

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My dad used to be a boss. Every time he plans our meals, he gives us two choices, say beef and chicken. We pick chicken but he cooks pork. If the choice is between rice and noodles, we pick noodles but he cooks congee. My mum's illustration:

A man says to a girl: “Will you marry me?”
The girl: yes! yes! yes!
But the man ends up marrying some other girl shortly afterwards.
The first girl: why didn’t you marry me?
Man: I have the right to ask. You have the right to answer. But I have the right to choose.

If I happen to fall for a boy who's a boss, I'm so scared he'd give me the same treatment…
By corollary: My dad is so scary… and for me to have normalised this kind of stuff/abuse makes me even more scared…