Buying a new car from a dealer for the first time and ended up texting the bro screens of William H. Macy in Fargo when he slapped on $600 in “administration fees” at the last possible moment. How’s your day going? #gripes #middleage #justdadthings

i was chattin with my teen over dinner about the "elites" thing and she knows whats up and im just like its not a cabal its just the consequence of letting processes of capital concentration run until they corrupt the system and she points at me and says computer toucher

#justdadthings

lent my phone to my daughter for a few minutes so she could look at sailor moon gifs and when she handed it back to me the screen was somehow covered with what I can only describe as a viscous eldritch ooze #justdadthings

@dioneira
Habs nicht durch. Tendiere aber zum Retten. #justdadthings

First day back home after vacation, first good sleep in equally long. Full of energy, so naturally gonna mount the kid's new Jurassic Park flash first thing, then 3D a Ghostbusters lamp, fix the garden and port the other kid's unicorn.

#JustDadThings

when #football is more important than apologizing for your homophobic outburst, am I right folks #justdadthings

Not pulling out #justdadthings

Found my son's fingerprint on my glasses. Instead of cleaning them, I just put on my backup glasses.

#JustDadThings

Last night my son was trying very hard, so I wrote him a song. A poop song. It's awesome.

And this afternoon, I sang a throat song for my daughter to calm her down. It worked.

#JustDadThings