Took my 5 year old to the movie theater for the first time ever. Her review of The Little Mermaid: “it was loud!” #cinema #kidssaythedarndestthings

Last night while my spouse was making dinner our 6 year old declared that the semicircle slices of red onion were “naked rainbows” and now that phrase lives rent free in my head
#kidsSayTheDarndestThings #parentingLife

We had our quarterly family birthday dinner tonight at my Dad's.
Someone had mentioned something about seeing #ducks on the river, to which my 7 year old #nephew piped in:
"You guys, ducks aren't real."
He wasn't goofing off either, he meant it. He said that we imagine them because we expect them to be around.

Where do they get this stuff?!
#ducksarenotreal #waitwhat #KidsSayTheDarndestThings
#nephewsarethebest
#foozma73

My five-year-old just asked me, "What's a sentence?" I did my best to explain it in a way she could understand, but when I was done, she said, "That's the worst thing I've ever heard."

#linguistics #linguisticsProblems #kidsSayTheDarndestThings

My 6yo, looking at a satellite view map with night/day: “Oh, it’s almost night time in Monopoly.”
Me: … “Monopoly??”
“Oh, you’re right, it doesn’t say Monopoly. What does this say?” [points]
“Ah, that’s Minneapolis.”

#minneapolis #monopoly #KidsSayTheDarndestThings

Forwarding my address to Asa, for future reference.

#packfreshusa #smilesaturday #kidssaythedarndestthings #moneyandicecream #stayfresh

“What kind of animal do taco shells grow on?” #kidssaythedarndestthings

Bedtijdverhaal over krokodil die geen bananen meer wil eten maar een kindje.

5YO: Ja, kindjes bestaan ook uit botten en worst.

Daar was weinig tegenin te brengen😅

#kidssaythedarndestthings

Same, Wesley. Same.

#packfreshusa #smilesaturday #cakeisdelicious #kidssaythedarndestthings #stayfresh

Me to 4-year-old: "Ella lovely, why have you covered your arm in purple pen? You have school in the morning."

4-year-old, "because I think it looks nice."

Seven years old, "you should get a real tattoo."

Four-year-old suddenly starts sobbing.

Me reaching out to hug her, "Ella, what's wrong? Why are you crying."

4-year-old "because I always dream of getting a tattoo of a cow, and then when I wake up, it's never real."

Aww my heart ❤️❤️

#parenting #mumlife #kidssaythedarndestthings

While reading a story to 2nd graders today, one kid heckled, "Wow, that is so fascinating." I'm just like...when the hell did 7-year-olds get so jaded?
#storytime #kids #kidsSayTheDarndestThings

From my sister: Going to church with a three year old is never dull. The children's sermon was about lighting the Advent candle of peace. Later the minister prayed, "Forgive us when we have lost peace and goodwill." Her grandson, wide eyed, said, "Oh no! We've already lost the peace!" At least he was listening?

#Advent2022 #Peace #christmas2022 #KidsSayTheDarndestThings #church #Goodwill #Kids #KidsSay #KeepThePeace #SeasonsGreetings #KidsOnMastodon #FunnyKids

Ah, the joys of being the #FunAunt. Found this gem in my memory vault.

Little: I like your hair.
Me: You like my hair? Is it pretty hair?
Little: No. It's crazy hair. #KidsSayTheDarndestThings

Tween: Taylor Swift is soooooo old!

Me: omg I know, ancient! it's like pyramids, then Taylor Swift.

Tween: so ancient, like she might be 40! [She's 32]

Here I am, the cryptkeeper, who had to Google how old Taylor Swift is. I'll just be over here, mouldering...

#KidsSayTheDarndestThings