MISS TESSMACHER! Load everything into the spaceship, we're going in search of the lost tribes of humanity.

#LexCorpCares
#Season2
#BuckMaddkap

I'm not saying that the Earth is trying to bump us off. I'm just saying that after the majority of the population get infected with a disease that damages their lungs, uncontrolled wildfires start putting smoke into the air over dozens of major cities.

As a supervillain, I can appreciate the planning that Earth put into this one. Bravo.

#LexCorpCares

Employees - if vandalism continues in the executive elevator, it will be for my use only. Do not forget that I am your Floop, and there will be no elections.

#LexCorpCares

MISS TESSMACHER!!

Take a memo to the current United States President. Which one is it now, anyway? Doesn't matter.

Dear Sir or Madam or Sentient Gorilla - My offer to pay off the debt of the United States in its entirety still stands. My attorneys have drafted the contract necessary to install me as the eternal and dominant Fourth Branch of Government.

I await your reply, cordially, etc. #LexCorpCares

MISS TESSMACHER!!

Take a memo to the current United States President. Which one is it now, anyway? Doesn't matter.

Dear Sir or Madam or Sentient Gorilla - My offer to pay off the debt of the United States in its entirety still stands. My attorneys have drafted the contract necessary to install me as the eternal and dominant Fourth Branch of Government.

I await your reply, cordially, etc. #LexCorpCares

Attention New Jersey. I have an appointment within you that will take approximately 1 hour, and requires my physical presence.

Let's be frank, I don't like you, you don't like me. Let's attempt to just ignore each other, and hopefully we will not need to meet again for several more years.

#LexCorpCares

If you dissolve your enemies in acid, they're no longer part of the problem. Now they're part of the solution.

#LexCorpCares

I know there's a great cartoon going around about people thinking that Furries would use VR to act out their "depraved" fantasies, and finding out we just want to pet kitties.

To be totally honest ... as soon as VR gets THAT good, I am using it to act out my depraved sexual fantasies.

#LexCorpCares

MISS TESSMACHER!

Take a memo to the company. Whoever put the note that said "Lex is back" on my desk better pray I never find them.

#AprilFools
#LexCorpCares

Now that that's out of the way ... midnight orgy at LexCorp Tower. Take the elevator to the penthouse. Password is "Superman Sucks".

#LexCorpCares
#WhatHappensInMetropolis

I'm pleased to present the winner of the #LexCorp Costume Contest. DJ Grodd, let's hear it!

#LexCorpCares

Idea for allergy sufferers: HEPA Sinuses (TM). Basically, we scoop out your entire sinus cavity and all the mucous membranes, and replace them with two cylindrical HEPA filters that are inserted through the nose. Every few months, you pull them out, and plug in new ones.

Do I have a volunteer for the test procedure?

#LexCorpCares

Today is Employee Appreciation Day at LexCorp. Please enjoy a short vacation.

*counts to 2*

Did you enjoy it? Good. Back to work.

#LexCorpCares

@AdalwinAmillion Good idea. But only for senior leadership. #LexCorpCares

Dear employees,

In honor of Fat Tuesday, the donuts in all of the break rooms are free. And mandatory. After consumption, please report your mental status to your section leader. #LexCorpCares

Best,
Dr. MaddKap

MISS TESSMACHER! Take a memo to Mr. James Gunn, @jamesgunn

Dear Mr. Gunn,

I reiterate that I am NOT interested in "playing" Superman in your next motion picture. I am interested in your thoughts on KILLING Superman, and any research you have uncovered to that effect.

Best,
Dr. Maddox Kaplan
CEO LexCorp
#LexCorpCares

@AdalwinAmillion We may be evil, but we're not barbarians. #LexCorpCares

#LexCorp Employees,

As your new CEO, I want to remind you that job stress is something we take very seriously.

So please remember that if you're feeling stressed, there's someone else who feels just as stressed as you, but also has a headache.

And if you feel stressed and have a headache, you're doing your part to set a good example for everyone else.

#LexCorpCares

Dr. Maddox Kaplan
CEO

Miss Tessmacher! Take a memo to Dr. Jonathan Crane, AKA Scarecrow:

You don't tug on Superman's cape,
You don't spit into the wind.
You don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger,
And you don't mess around with Dr. Fucking Maddkap.

It's on now, shrink boy.

#LexCorpCares

Dear Employees,

Please note the new signage in the elevators.

Gorilla Grodd - this means you. I'm sick of maintenance telling me the buttons are cracked and sticky.

Aggressively yours,
Dr. Maddkap
LexCorp CEO

#LexCorpCares
#LexCorp