It's been a while since I've mentioned #opensource which is part of my #lovelanguage 😍 Today, I just updated Autodesk #opensource site https://lnkd.in/gKajUm9E by featuring a new project called Synthesis: https://lnkd.in/gedhGp7W Synthesis is a robotics simulator designed to help FIRST Robotics teams design, strategize, test, and practice. For more information on the product itself or the team, visit https://lnkd.in/gm6vA8mW #opensource #community

I just got back from a trip and look what @CaroOkay had waiting for me next to my pillow

#trueLove #loveLanguage

Meine #LoveLanguage ist #GEZ-Gebühren gerne zahlen.

To wish the #narcissist, #borderline or #histrionic ex a happy birthday, or not to wish the #NPD, #BPD or #HPD ex a happy birthday? That is the no-win situation question.

1) If you don’t share minor children, heck no. Why aren’t you #NoContact? Be honest with yourself. Are you really “being nice” (vomit emoji), or hoping for some recognition that you’re really a good guy/gal?

2) If you share custody, I recommend helping younger kids (12 and under) make cards and gifts or purchase a nominal gift ($10-$20 USD). Most kids 12 and under are unemployed. Something extravagant feeds the #entitlement monster. It's also #PeoplePleaser #doormat behavior.

3) Once the kids are teens, acknowledging mom’s birthday, making a gift or buying a gift (if they don’t have an allowance or a job) is on them. If your ex’s #LoveLanguage is “Buy me lots of expensive crap,” you’ll likely get some #NarcissisticInjury fueled blowback.

4) Don’t expect a #ClusterB #PersonalityDisorder ex to encourage the kids to acknowledge your birthday whether you choose to help the kids celebrate her birthday or not.

Final thought: THINK MACARONI NECKLACE.

Reading #relationship books written for “#normals” when your partner
has a #ClusterB #PersonalityDisorder is like reading a how to build a birdhouse
manual in order to learn how to swim safely with sharks.

In other words, it's not going to help.

A relationship with a #narcissist, #borderline, #histrionic or Cluster B variety pack isn't dysfunctional and toxic due to the issues non-disordered people have in relationships. The problems aren't due to deficient #CommunicationSkills. Nor is because you don't "speak their #LoveLanguage." And it isn't because you're from Mars/Venus and they're from Uranus -- or whatever not take #responsibility-#BlameShifting-#DARVO bullshit excuse they concoct.

It's because they have an un/diagnosed personality disorder. Their love language is Crazy. They lack the fundamental emotional and psychological capacity to have a healthy and reciprocal emotionally mature relationship built upon mutual respect and empathy.

Furthermore, being more empathic, patient and "loving them harder" isn't going to help you either. That advice results in more #enabling, #codependence and #TraumaBonding -- not more love.

Again, the real issues are the #NPD, #BPD, #HPD character pathology, which can't be fixed. And your #codependency, #peoplepleasing, #traumahealing, etc., which you can work on.

If you want to learn how to have healthier relationships, read about how to best protect yourself from emotionally manipulative liars/predators and how to address your codependency and family of origin issues because nothing else is going to work.

#AbuseHasNoGender #TheMoreYouKnow

A belated #introduction from a #birdsite refugee!

I’m a #FullStack #web #SoftwareEngineer. Zero-downtime migrations are my jam.

#Software is a 3rd #career after #MentalHealth & #academia (#linguistics). I’m holding the tech door open for other #women, #BIPOC, #LGBTQIA, & #PWD.

Being #Queer is an orientation & a worldview. Sharing information is a #LoveLanguage.

I’m militantly pro-#WorkLifeBalance. I love #powerlifting, #meditation, walking my #greyhound, #reading, #therapy, & #friendship.

last night my partner asked me for some background information on how some peer-to-peer software works and I got to do a big cryptography/data-structure/routing info-dump that I usually try to keep locked up in my head

#loveLanguage