Wondering ... if #social #media isn't made to be #addictive and emotionally #manipulative, how are post frequencies different?

E.g. if on a commercial social media platform I see 100 posts, and react to, Idk what the numbers are, but let's say 10 of them, with 8 Likes, 1 Comment and sparking 1 new post ...

Then in the #Fediverse, what would I do? Are the reaction numbers higher or lower? Higher or lower for whom? Under which circumstances? Am I an outlier? Are we all who are here right now?

Someone: "Calling someone a #narcissist is #ableist and #abusive to people with #personality #disorders. You see, I have a personality disorder."

Me: "What if the person who abused you did it in such a manner that they played out the symptoms of their personality disorder?"

Someone: "Your reply is why you're part of the problem."

Me: "Are you being serious right now?"

Someone: "Ugh. Fuck off."

As a person who tends to believe that abusive people, regardless of their #psychopathology, do not deserve my #empathy as a #survivor of #trauma, I'm trying really hard not to internalize the following lesson:

People with Cluster B personality disorders who claim that identifying their personality disorder is a form of ableism are using leftist language in order to justify and excuse their abusive behavior.

My last abuser loved using leftist language as a way of silencing the victims of their abusive behavior. They once set a #boundary that no one could claim that their bad #behavior was #manipulative because it was a #trigger for their trauma, which was actually a perverse way of preventing anyone who cared about them from calling them out when they did behave abusively.

Ironically, and disgustingly, the individual about who I'm speaking tonight once convinced me that someone who had abused them had lied about how abusive they were in order to punish them for refusing to be victimized any further. I believed them. Now, I really wonder whether that was ever true. It makes me wonder whether my abuser says that about me, that I was their true abuser. I wonder how many people like me believe them. And I'm really trying not to wonder about such things because it's a waste of energy I could be using to create content and joy.

Anyway, I hate making generalizations, and I really want to believe that even though Western #psychology doesn't know how to help people #heal from any Cluster B personality disorder aside from #BPD (thank you, Marsha #Linehan), that these people are still human beings capable of being more than just scary and dangerous.

I want to believe that. But each time this happens, I believe it a little bit less. I imagine at some point, I'll have to admit that my faith in them was wrong, and I hurt myself repeatedly by believing in people that I never should have believed in.

Gods, I hate it when people cause me to lose faith in them. It feels really fucking awful to fear a group of people for something out of their control. But I also know that I'm forgiving (read: stupid) enough that if I met a new person right now with an official #diagnosis of #NPD, I'd treat them like any other person and be obnoxiously surprised when it turned out they behaved like I should have expected a narcissist to.

There is a confounding factor in that the person I had to deal with tonight claimed to have a personality disorder and also to distrust the mental health system so much that they refused to have anything to do with it. Unfortunately, this means that they were not receiving any kind of #treatment for their #mental #health issues, and this is something that this person has in common with my abuser.

So, maybe a more fair statement than the one above is:

People with Cluster B personality disorders who refuse to engage in any kind of treatment for their mental health and also claim that identifying their personality disorder is a form of ableism are using leftist language in order to justify and excuse their abusive behavior.

This statement allows the individual with the personality disorder to have made a #choice. And that choice, insofar as humans are their behavior towards others, applies not only to personality disorders, but very much to #PTSD and trauma survivors.

To me.

This is why I don't think that I have any place to argue that I was good or deserved positive treatment during my self-serving enabling of others' narcissistic abuse by my abuser. I made a choice, and it was a hard choice not to make, but it was a choice I made. Even if I had no control over the choice, I was still not a safe person to be around because of my loyalty to such a selfish and capricious person. Yeah, I had a #therapist, but I also wasn't great at keeping appointments then (probably for significant, non-time-management-related reasons that I'm only recently beginning to understand).

Compare that to now, when I have few qualms about ending #toxic relationships, a stronger sense of personal #identity, and a supportive and constructive #social #support group. And when I'm seeing a therapist and #psychiatrist regularly and religiously because I understand how much it benefits me and have been consistently #healing from my trauma as evidenced by reports from the people that know me and that see me day in and day out.

As much as I hate making generalizations, I find I'm generally OK with making ones that I can easily and appropriately apply to myself. So that's something.

#Close: What starts out warm and endearing turns into some of the most #manipulative #traumaporn bullshit I've seen in a while. I *hate* this thing.

Full review at Mahan's Media: https://betwixtstarproductions.blogspot.com/2023/03/close-2023-movie-review.html #film #movies #filmreview #moviereview #cinema #cinemastodon #comingofage #Gay #drama #belgium #lukasdhont #edendambrine #gustavdewaele #notyourprops

The sociopath roommate goes out of her way to lie about using the kitchen and having dirty dishes. She's even posted photo's of her dishes in her room. One member of her family including her cooks daily. And they use the kitchen the most out of all of us. Not so strangely, the sociopath is the only person the narcissistic LL doesn't insult. When I saw the love bombing I knew she was a piece of work. #lovebombing #abuser #manipulative #cunning #charming #home #family #dysfunctional

Read my ★ review of "The Whale," the most depressing, exploitative, unintentionally hilarious piece of Oscarbait in the history of depressing, exploitative, unintentionally hilarious Oscarbait. Bonus MST3K points for Darren Aronofsky adding a horror-movie soundtrack every time Brendan Fraser opened a candy bar! https://boxd.it/3ULBIr

#review #film #movie #TheWhale #DarrenAronofsky #BrendanFraser #Oscarbait #terrible #pretentious #exploitative #manipulative #dreary #depressing #ArtsyFartsy

In today’s lesson for doggies on how to coerce their owners, here’s how to pull off the perfect pleading for food expression. #Manipulative #DogsOfMastodon

#Manipulative Marketing-Techniken: #Neuromarketing https://www.mittellaendische.ch/2023/02/06/manipulative-marketing-techniken-neuromarketing/

NEW:
What #science can tell us about the #behavioral traits and #cognitive needs that drive #belief in #conspiracy myths.

#antivaxxers & other conspiracy #grifters who now run rampant on @elonmusk's #Twitter cynically abuse these traits when crafting #manipulative content for #attention & profit.

Read:
https://protagonistfuture.substack.com/p/the-conspiracy-mindset

@ZeroCovidColin @timo21
You are both right💗
And also I absolutely adore introverts & you guys DO get mistaken for a lot of things b/c of all the quiet thinking

I am dumbfounded every single time I walk out my door

But it’s all about selling & introverts do not make the best salespeople;) Tbh I so very easily could be super evil, it freaks me out sometimes #manipulative

Using your SO as focus is still a good tactic b/c you put them in your belief system,even if momentarily:)

Talking with a friend who went on a date with this #manipulative #creep of a guy.

And I was worried that it would give her the wrong impression of men in general. So I decided that I should stop listening and being supportive for a moment and explain a few things, as a man, to my female friend.

So I said: "Hey, to be fair, a solid 5% of men aren't like that. Of course they're all married."

I'm sure she appreciated it. I'm such a #niceguy .

#mansplaining #notallmen

Fundamentally Narcissism hurts others and the narcissist.

As with most personality characteristics - narcissism should be considered along a spectrum.

Narcissism is a type of personality trait. A cluster of traits. What defines narcissism is a lack of empathy & the intention (motivation) to manipulate people. Those motivations could be more emotive such as envy - or more cognitive such as plotting against a rival business person or politician. However, a narcissistic agenda always relates to social status and the fear of losing social status (including money). Narcissists tend to be very competitive against others (compared to challenging the self rather than competition being the primary agenda)

So yea - there are many forms of narcissism.

As the term suggests - narcissists believe they are superior to other people. This is also why narcissists are more authoritarian (e.g., "bossy", "controlling", and "strict"). On a cultural level - narcissism is fascism (an organization that's controlled by narcissists' agendas who manipulate the lower ranking)

A practical way to understand the difference between a narcissist and a non-narcissist is to think about the types of "bosses"," managers"., "directors", "presidents" and generally leaders that have been known throughout history.

At one end of the spectrum - are people that are bosses or leaders that care for their workers or followers. Some leaders are selected for leadership by the people. Gandhi - was a good, non-violent - example.

Other "leaders" believe they deserve to be leaders and do whatever it takes to be in a position of authority. For example, they will lie to and manipulate people to sustain their social status (including monetary income). Putin - is a bad, violent - example.

The typical negative (theory of mind) quality of a narcissist is a superiority complex. They don't perceive that their behaviors are a social problem. In other words, they're generally anti-social - they just see and perceive that way. That's why narcissists don't generally decide that they could be helped with therapy. They perceive that other people - not them, are the problem. They actively perceive that it's the people they try to manipulate that need help. Manipulation is the dominant characteristic of the narcissist. That should not be conflated with a good influence. Narcissists are generally a bad influence on society (even if they believe their "great" leaders or bosses)

I realize that the previous paragraph may be unnerving for some However - if you're *not* generally being "bossy", "controlling", "strict", deceiving, and manipulative - then you are not a narcissist.

FYI - don't bother to simply try and confront a narcissist - they will accuse you of being the problem (& they believe it). Narcissists need professional help. But, they don't seek it.

The good news is that narcissism - as with any personality characteristic - can be regulated by informing the narcissist about the type of behaviors that narcissists regularly do (& enjoy doing). To reiterate, narcissists don't tend to perceive that their behaviors are a problem.

However, narcissists can be as logical as anyone else (but they use that logic to manipulate people). So, the key to reducing narcissism is for the narcissists to understand that their narcissism will also ruin any "loving" social relationship.

A relationship in which one of the partners *only* "loves" themself - isn't stable.

As with most personality characteristics - narcissism should be considered along a spectrum.

To learn more about what makes narcissists "tick" listen to this podcast.

"The Narcissist in You and Everyone Else: Recognizing the 27 Types of Narcissism" https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sterlin-l-mosley-the-narcissist-in-you-and/id436024959?i=1000589833340

#psychology #CognitivePsychology #personality #narcissism #hate #CognitiveTherapy #relationships #bossy #controlling #authortarian #strict #dominant #manipulative

#empathy #compassion #love #coperation #altruim #teamwork #family #friends

Fundamentally Narcissism hurts others and the narcissist.

As with most personality characteristics - narcissism should be considered along a spectrum.

Narcissism is a type of personality trait. A cluster of traits. What defines narcissism is a lack of empathy & the intention (motivation) to manipulate people. Those motivations could be more emotive such as envy - or more cognitive such as plotting against a rival business person or politician. However, a narcissistic agenda always relates to social status and the fear of losing social status (including money). Narcissists tend to be very competitive against others (compared to challenging the self rather than competition being the primary agenda)

So yea - there are many forms of narcissism.

As the term suggests - narcissists believe they are superior to other people. This is also why narcissists are more authoritarian (e.g., "bossy", "controlling", and "strict"). On a cultural level - narcissism is fascism (an organization that's controlled by narcissists' agendas who manipulate the lower ranking)

A practical way to understand the difference between a narcissist and a non-narcissist is to think about the types of "bosses"," managers"., "directors", "presidents" and generally leaders that have been known throughout history.

At one end of the spectrum - are people that are bosses or leaders that care for their workers or followers. Some leaders are selected for leadership by the people. Gandhi - was a good, non-violent - example.

Other "leaders" believe they deserve to be leaders and do whatever it takes to be in a position of authority. For example, they will lie to and manipulate people to sustain their social status (including monetary income). Putin - is a bad, violent - example.

The typical negative (theory of mind) quality of a narcissist is a superiority complex. They don't perceive that their behaviors are a social problem. In other words, they're generally anti-social - they just see and perceive that way. That's why narcissists don't generally decide that they could be helped with therapy. They perceive that other people - not them, are the problem. They actively perceive that it's the people they try to manipulate that need help. Manipulation is the dominant characteristic of the narcissist. That should not be conflated with a good influence. Narcissists are generally a bad influence on society (even if they believe their "great" leaders or bosses)

I realize that the previous paragraph may be unnerving for some However - if you're *not* generally being "bossy", "controlling", "strict", deceiving, and manipulative - then you are not a narcissist.

FYI - don't bother to simply try and confront a narcissist - they will accuse you of being the problem (& they believe it). Narcissists need professional help. But, they don't seek it.

The good news is that narcissism - as with any personality characteristic - can be regulated by informing the narcissist about the type of behaviors that narcissists regularly do (& enjoy doing). To reiterate, narcissists don't tend to perceive that their behaviors are a problem.

However, narcissists can be as logical as anyone else (but they use that logic to manipulate people). So, the key to reducing narcissism is for the narcissists to understand that their narcissism will also ruin any "loving" social relationship.

A relationship in which one of the partners *only* "loves" themself - isn't stable.

As with most personality characteristics - narcissism should be considered along a spectrum.

To learn more about what makes narcissists "tick" listen to this podcast.

"The Narcissist in You and Everyone Else: Recognizing the 27 Types of Narcissism" https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sterlin-l-mosley-the-narcissist-in-you-and/id436024959?i=1000589833340

#psychology #CognitivePsychology #personality #narcissism #CognitiveTherapy #relationships #bossy #controlling authortarian #strict #dominant #manipulative

#epathy #compassion #coperation #altruim #teamwork #family #friends

Fundamentally Narcissism hurts others and the narcissist.

As with most personality characteristics - narcissism should be considered along a spectrum.

Narcissism is a type of personality trait. A cluster of traits. What defines narcissism is a lack of empathy & the intention (motivation) to manipulate people. Those motivations could be more emotive such as envy - or more cognitive such as plotting against a rival business person or politician. However, a narcissistic agenda always relates to social status and the fear of losing social status (including money). Narcissists tend to be very competitive against others (compared to challenging the self rather than competition being the primary agenda)

So yea - there are many forms of narcissism.

As the term suggests - narcissists believe they are superior to other people. This is also why narcissists are more authoritarian (e.g., "bossy", "controlling", and "strict"). On a cultural level - narcissism is fascism (an organization that's controlled by narcissists' agendas who manipulate the lower ranking)

A practical way to understand the difference between a narcissist and a non-narcissist is to think about the types of "bosses"," managers"., "directors", "presidents" and generally leaders that have been known throughout history.

At one end of the spectrum - are people that are bosses or leaders that care for their workers or followers. Some leaders are selected for leadership by the people. Gandhi - was a good, non-violent - example.

Other "leaders" believe they deserve to be leaders and do whatever it takes to be in a position of authority. For example, they will lie to and manipulate people to sustain their social status (including monetary income). Putin - is a bad, violent - example.

The typical negative (theory of mind) quality of a narcissist is a superiority complex. They don't perceive that their behaviors are a social problem. In other words, they're generally anti-social - they just see and perceive that way. That's why narcissists don't generally decide that they could be helped with therapy. They perceive that other people - not them, are the problem. They actively perceive that it's the people they try to manipulate that need help. Manipulation is the dominant characteristic of the narcissist. That should not be conflated with a good influence. Narcissists are generally a bad influence on society (even if they believe their "great" leaders or bosses)

I realize that the previous paragraph may be unnerving for some However - if you're *not* generally being "bossy", "controlling", "strict", deceiving, and manipulative - then you are not a narcissist.

FYI - don't bother to simply try and confront a narcissist - they will accuse you of being the problem (& they believe it). Narcists need professional help. But, they don't seek it.

The good news is that narcissism - as with any personality characteristic - can be regulated by informing the narcissist about the type of behaviors that narcissists regularly do (& enjoy doing). To reiterate, narcissists don't tend to perceive that their behaviors are a problem.

However, narcissists can be as logical as anyone else (but they use that logic to manipulate people). So, the key to reducing narcissism is for the narcissists to understand that their narcissism will also ruin any "loving" social relationship.

A relationship in which one of the partners *only* "loves" themself - isn't stable.

As with most personality characteristics - narcissism should be considered along a spectrum.

To learn more about what makes narcissists "tick" listen to this podcast.

"The Narcissist in You and Everyone Else: Recognizing the 27 Types of Narcissism" https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sterlin-l-mosley-the-narcissist-in-you-and/id436024959?i=1000589833340

#psychology #CognitivePsychology #personality #narcissism #CognitiveTherapy #relationships #bossy #controlling authortarian #strict #dominant #manipulative

#epathy #compassion #coperation #altruim #teamwork #family #friends

Fundamentally Narcissism hurts others and the narcissist.

As with most personality characteristics - narcissism should be considered along a spectrum.

Narcissism is a type of personality trait. A cluster of traits. What defines narcissism is a lack of empathy & the intention (motivation) to manipulate people. Those motivations could be more emotive such as envy - or more cognitive such as plotting against a rival business person or politician. However, a narcissistic agenda always relates to social status and the fear of losing social status (including money). Narcissists tend to be very competitive against others (compared to challenging the self rather than competition being the primary agenda)

So yea - there are many forms of narcissism.

As the term suggests - narcissists believe they are superior to other people. This is also why narcissists are more authoritarian (e.g., "bossy", "controlling", and "strict"). On a cultural level - narcissism is fascism (an organization that's controlled by narcissists' agendas who manipulate the lower ranking)

A practical way to understand the difference between a narcissist and a non-narcissist is to think about the types of "bosses"," managers"., "directors", "presidents" and generally leaders that have been known throughout history.

At one end of the spectrum - are people that are bosses or leaders that care for their workers or followers. Some leaders are selected for leadership by the people. Gandhi - was a good, non-violent - example.

Other "leaders" believe they deserve to be leaders and do whatever it takes to be in a position of authority. For example, they will lie to and manipulate people to sustain their social status (including monetary income). Putin - is a bad, violent - example.

The typical negative (theory of mind) quality of a narcissist is a superiority complex. They don't perceive that their behaviors are a social problem. In other words, they're generally anti-social - they just see and perceive that way. That's why narcissists don't generally decide that they could be helped with therapy. They perceive that other people - not them, are the problem. They actively perceive that it's the people they try to manipulate that need help. Manipulation is the dominant characteristic of the narcissist. That should not be conflated with a good influence. Narcissists are generally a bad influence on society (even if they believe their "great" leaders or bosses)

I realize that the previous paragraph may be unnerving for some However - if you're *not* generally being "bossy", "controlling", "strict", deceiving, and manipulative - then you are not a narcissist.

FYI - don't bother to simply try and confront a narcissist - they will accuse you of being the problem (& they believe it). Narcists need professional help. But, they don't seek it.

The good news is that narcissism - as with any personality characteristic - can be regulated by informing the narcissist about the type of behaviors that narcissists regularly do (& enjoy doing). To reiterate, narcissists don't tend to perceive that their behaviors are a problem.

However, narcissists can be as logical as anyone else (but they use that logic to manipulate people). So, the key to reducing narcissism is for the narcissists to understand that their narcissism will also ruin any "loving" social relationship.

A relationship in which one of the partners *only* "loves" themself - isn't stable.

As with most personality characteristics - narcissism should be considered along a spectrum.

To learn more about what makes narcissists "tick" listen to this podcast.

Sterlin L. Mosley, "The Narcissist in You and Everyone Else: Recognizing the 27 Types of Narcissism" (Rowman & Littlefield, 2022) New Books in Psychology https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sterlin-l-mosley-the-narcissist-in-you-and/id436024959?i=1000589833340

#psychology #CognitivePsychology #personality #narcissism #CognitiveTherapy #relationships #bossy #controlling authortarian #strict #dominant #manipulative

#epathy #compassion #coperation #altruim #teamwork #family #friends

⚠️ #Disinformation and #manipulative campaigns taking place in the temporarily occupied territories.

🔻 #Zaporizhzhia Region:

The Rashists have completely stopped releasing men of draft age who either do not have a military ID card or have a valid military ID card. The occupiers justify this by the fact that Ukrainians can allegedly be mobilized to participate in the war against the Russian Federation

1/3

This is a longish article about the #nature of #Mastodon (and #federated #SocialMedia in general) but it’s worth the time to read it. It’s a good reminder of some key differences between #corporate #capitalist social media and the possibilities of a more #democratic, more #human, and less #devious and #manipulative form of social media. The article also reminds us that #technology doesn’t determine who we are.

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2022/11/fediverse-could-be-awesome-if-we-dont-screw-it

#INTERNATIONAL_TECH_NEWS #REVEALED: #UK_GOVERNMENT PLANS #Publicity_Blitz to #Undermine #Privacy of Your #chats

The Home Office has hired a #high_end #AD_AGENCY to mobilize #public_opinion against #encrypted_communications — with plans that include some #shockingly #manipulative #tactics.

https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/revealed-uk-government-publicity-blitz-to-undermine-privacy-encryption-1285453/

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