For my next vacation I want to rent some luxury yurt in the mountains somewhere. My list of activities will simply be - 1. Read all your McSweeney’s back issues. 2. Fin. #bookstodon #mcsweeneys #literature

Let me recommend to you McSweeney's annotated faux monologue of Spanish football president Luis Rubiales, truth is almost stranger than fiction.

"Let Me, a Man Accused of Sexual Harassment Against a Football Player, Explain Feminism to You"
#McSweeneys #Rubiales
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/let-me-a-man-accused-of-sexual-harassment-against-a-football-player-explain-feminism-to-you

@ChrisBoese
🥥 THIS particular post, Chris, is just the latest example of why I ALWAYS follow links to #McSweeneys.
Thank YOU for sharing it with us. 🥥

@keribla maybe parents were concerned due to this #mcsweeneys article? :blobfoxlaugh:

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/dont-worry-we-didnt-remove-the-part-where-james-has-sex-with-the-giant-peach

Are you playing #DungeonsAndDragons or doing your #taxes?

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/are-you-playing-dungeons-dragons-or-doing-your-taxes

#DnD #IRS #tax #McSweeneys

"Easter is what you’re gonna call the day I come back to life, and the #Easter Bunny is what you’re gonna call the man-sized rabbit that hides all the candy-filled eggs the children will hunt down.

Is this too weird? I don’t want this to feel weird. But it’s really important all of this happens every single year from now until forever."

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/hi-im-jesus-and-when-i-get-back-i-want-all-the-eggs-hidden #McSweeneys

dangit mcsweeneys and the making me spit-take-laugh

#lol #mcsweeneys

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/i-am-noah-and-i-need-to-look-at-your-animals-pee-pees

Via #McSweeneys:
Starting April 15, the White Hand of Saruman will only be given out to Uruk-hai who have a paid subscription to SaruBlue.
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the-white-hand-of-saruman-will-be-given-only-to-uruk-hai-who-subscribe-to-sarublue

My lovely and hilarious friend wrote this piece for #mcsweeneys

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/emily-in-paris-unrest

Fuck You, You Fat-Headed Roald Dahl-Censoring Fuckers
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/fuck-you-you-fat-headed-roald-dahl-censoring-fuckers via #McSweeneys

FTA: "If you don’t want censorship from the right, you can’t have it from the left."

#books #reading #censorship

10-factor #authentication process via #McSweeneys. So good.

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the-new-ten-factor-authentication-processes-for-university-faculty

Time to dust off this old gem from 2018: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/in-order-to-keep-our-editorial-page-completely-balanced-we-are-hiring-more-dipshits #satire #mcsweeneys #nytimes

Thank God they're banning Critical-Force-Theory from schools.
#CRT #crtcensored #starwars #mcsweeneys

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the-jedi-academy-will-no-longer-teach-anakin-skywalkers-massacre-of-the-younglings

"Unfortunately, the macroeconomic environment has shifted in ways none of us could have foreseen, from an economy in which I did feel like paying you, to one in which I’d rather not."

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/macroeconomic-changes-have-made-it-impossible-for-me-to-want-to-pay-you

#McSweeneys #Economy #Recession

One of the funniest #McSweeneys piece I’ve read in a while.
“What if we have Bernie win in 2024, but he’s revealed to be a Manchurian candidate for the Scandinavian plot to turn the USA into a well-run social democracy with free college, guaranteed housing, and generous parental leave? Maybe with AOC as the feisty loose cannon he has to rein in from blowing their cover?? We smell a buddy-cop spin-off starring Larry David and Stephanie Beatriz.”
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/notes-for-the-writers-room-of-the-second-cold-war
#satire

Action items on your radical professor's liberal agenda from #mcsweeneys

My favorite: "Determine optimal amount to crack open office door in order to signal 'I am definitely here, but I definitely don’t want to talk to you.'"

#AcademicMastodon #professors

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/action-items-on-your-radical-professors-liberal-agenda

"A writing career is not a sprint. It is also not a marathon. A writing career is one of those wilderness survival challenges where they dump you in the woods without a map or a compass or food and whoever finds their way out wins. Except the only thing you “win” is that you don’t have to go to law school." How to become a professional writer, by @shadesofgreaves: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/how-to-become-a-professional-writer #humor #mcsweeneys

"But we cannot avoid the externalities of today’s market, which is influenced by complicated global factors like the collapse of Chinese real estate, the war in Ukraine, and my desire for a marble kitchen island with a waterfall edge."

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/macroeconomic-changes-have-made-it-impossible-for-me-to-want-to-pay-you

#McSweeneys #TechIndustry #satire

A brutally honest report of current business strategies by #mcsweeneys!

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/macroeconomic-changes-have-made-it-impossible-for-me-to-want-to-pay-you

In case anyone wants to spice up their company Slack's #random channel, "MACROECONOMIC CHANGES HAVE MADE IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO WANT TO PAY YOU" by Mike Lacher in McSweeneys, is a nice grenade to just roll in there:

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/macroeconomic-changes-have-made-it-impossible-for-me-to-want-to-pay-you
#McSweeneys #Amazon #Google #guillotines