To wish the #narcissist, #borderline or #histrionic ex a happy birthday, or not to wish the #NPD, #BPD or #HPD ex a happy birthday? That is the no-win situation question.

1) If you don’t share minor children, heck no. Why aren’t you #NoContact? Be honest with yourself. Are you really “being nice” (vomit emoji), or hoping for some recognition that you’re really a good guy/gal?

2) If you share custody, I recommend helping younger kids (12 and under) make cards and gifts or purchase a nominal gift ($10-$20 USD). Most kids 12 and under are unemployed. Something extravagant feeds the #entitlement monster. It's also #PeoplePleaser #doormat behavior.

3) Once the kids are teens, acknowledging mom’s birthday, making a gift or buying a gift (if they don’t have an allowance or a job) is on them. If your ex’s #LoveLanguage is “Buy me lots of expensive crap,” you’ll likely get some #NarcissisticInjury fueled blowback.

4) Don’t expect a #ClusterB #PersonalityDisorder ex to encourage the kids to acknowledge your birthday whether you choose to help the kids celebrate her birthday or not.

Final thought: THINK MACARONI NECKLACE.