The recent news of Ngozi Fulani’s (CEO and Founder of Sistah Space) treatment at Buckingham Palace has opened up more conversation about simply asking “Where are you ‘really’ from?”.

Why does this question matter?

There is nothing wrong with asking about where you lived or where you grew up, these are normal questions for making connections with people. However, the follow-up question “Where are you ‘really’ from?”, or “You look/sound like you are from X or Y”, trying to satisfy their own assumptions leads to more uncomfortable conversations.

I grew up in the UK and lived in Europe, South East Asia, and Asia. From experience, this question follows you around wherever you go. When I provide a simple answer, “I grew up in the UK”, it never quite satisfies their curiosity according to their own biased judgement. From those who ask, I don’t stereotypically look like someone who should identify as that. They probe further and push me in a position to convince new acquaintances that that’s where I am REALLY from. After numerous microaggressive conversations of the same questions, it gets very exhaustive.

These intrusive questions are often excused as being curious and framed without malicious intent. It can be triggering as it undermines your identity, making you justify your identity, distorting your sense of belonging and making you feel alienated. These unwelcomed conversations have real undertones of racism, anti-minority and anti-immigration, these judgements about someone’s race, ethnicity and nationality can be harmful to the recipient.

The only way we can eliminate unconscious biases is to listen carefully when someone speaks and make meaningful connections. We need to stop profiling someone’s identity based on our own biased judgements. We are all different, no one should be measured and placed neatly in a box!

#WhereAreYouFrom #WhereAreYouReallyFrom
#MicroAggression #StopAsianHate #Identity #NgoziFulani

Lady Susan Hussey: Ngozi Fulani’s domestic abuse charity in Buckingham Palace racism row pauses operations over safety fears | The Independent
#NgoziFulani
#SistahSpace
#BuckinghamPalace
#Racism
#DomesticAbuseCharity

Sistah Space said it was ‘forced to temporarily cease’ many of its operations after Ngozi Fulani spoke out about her treatment at Buckingham Palace

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/royal-family/buckingham-palace-ngozi-fulani-racism-susan-hussey-b2242748.html

RT @mettlesome_teri@twitter.com

Right wing crying all over twitter that Britain is not a racist hell hole while #HarryandMeghan, #NgoziFulani and #Rwanda is trending 🙄 read the tweets. Calling to deport asylum seekers, abusing Fulani and wanting to remove two Royals because one is mixed race 👇🏻

🐦🔗: https://twitter.com/mettlesome_teri/status/1601555997990211584

Lady Hussey's Internet Trolls Come for Ngozi Fulani | https://www.theroot.com/lady-husseys-internet-trolls-come-for-ngozi-fulani-1849858287 #ethnicgroupsinnigeria #ethnicgroupsinafrica #humaninterest #socialissues #ngozifulani #susanhussey #fulapeople #continents #elizabeth #praisers #africa

What being an undercover immigrant taught me about racism. #ngozifulani #racism #blacklivesmatter
https://www.tiktok.com/@emlynpearce/video/7172232213503675654?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc

RT @BameFor@twitter.com

Denial is not just a river in Egypt. #NgoziFulani #LadyHussey

🐦🔗: https://twitter.com/BameFor/status/1599389098866659328

I just want to say that I’ve been asked ‘where you’re from?’ many many times in my life. And you know if the asker’s intention is to alienate or befriend. You feel it straightaway.
#NgoziFulani
#racism

When Christine Hamilton shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

At least she manages to describe herself accurately in her closing hashtag.

RT @brit_battleaxe@twitter.com

Looking at this charming photo, one is bound to assume that #NgoziFulani is proud of the heritage which entitles her to wear this chosen outfit to Buckingham Palace. Why make such an obvious statement if you don’t want to invite curiosity from a well-wisher? #SusanHussey #Racism

🐦🔗: https://twitter.com/brit_battleaxe/status/1598400738904117248

If you ever ask me where I'm 'really' from and you get a very short answer, take it as a sign that I have no interest in spending my time and energy on getting to know you...

#LadySusanHussey #NgoziFulani

https://www.linkedin.com/posts/annette-corbett-19609510_skynews-activity-7004384223209910272-oJqE?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_android

One of the worst things about #racism is that it robs people of their voice. So let's talk about #SistahSpace https://www.sistahspace.org/. They support African and Caribbean heritage women experiencing domestic and sexual #abuse. They help these women navigate #prejudice and #cultural illiteracy in the #police force. Their work includes support, advocacy, training, research and lobbying. Please support them.
#NgoziFulani #BuckinghamPalace

Old age does not mean you can be racist, anymore than it means you can sexually abuse children and expect to use a get-out of prison age-clause. Equally to change your name, portray yourself as someone who grew up in a different culture to what you actually did, cry foul when questioned appears to be a deliberate attempt to be dishonest. It appears to undermine progress towards getting rid of racism and dishonesty. #LadySusanHussey #NgoziFulani #MaryHeadley

This is Floella Benjamin's amazing Autobiography.

Check the Title out.

'What are you doing here?'

Is that not what #NgoziFulani of Sistah Space was effectively asked at Buckingham Palace the other day? 🤷🏽‍♂️

#butwhereareyoureallyfrom #memories #Minneapolis #Minnesota #Filipino #Filipinos #Pinoys #Pinays #SistahSpace #NgoziFulani
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-63822940

#butwhereareyoureallyfrom #Minneapolis #Minnesota #Filipino #Filipinos #Pinoys #Pinays #SistahSpace #NgoziFulani
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-63822940

What’s amusing me today is thinking about how the hole racists are digging for themselves is now so deep they’re going to end up burying both the tory party and the monarchy in it with them. They've lost the demographic battle and the more they bleat the worse it gets. They’re like a football team that’s 3-0 down with time running out that's lost all discipline and getting its players sent off.
#Racism
#SusanHussey
#NgoziFulani

‘Reading about what happened to #ngozifulani at #buckinghampalace reminded me of being asked this question a few years ago.I was out for drinks with a large group of friends+a young white man of abt my age repeatedly asked me where I was "really from"
Each time I answered with increasing levels of detail,until this stranger had heard about my entire childhood. But he still kept asking
I eventually gave up+said that I am Indian
"Aha!" he exclaimed. "Got there in the end." https://t.co/85Txg8z0SU

#buckinghampalace #race #incident was “#abuse”, says #charity #boss #ngozifulani

https://t.co/jCA8S0Or7N

Every #Nigerian reading about this #NgoziFulani issue right now is facing a conundrum:

How do I ask "Yes, but where are you really from?" without sounding like that racist old white woman?

How can your first name be Ngozi and your last name Fulani?!

#nigeria

@redgreenmick I haven't seen #NgoziFulani 's interview, but will look for it today, Michael. Thanks!

@ThatAuntie I was just watching her being interviewed on BBC news. Her dignity and clarity was really impressive especially under such pressure. What a brave woman and what a leader she is for us all. #NgoziFulani 🥰