#Satire #NYTimesPitchbot #NFL @nfl

Via New York Times Pitchbot @DougJBalloon
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29s
Jets QB Aaron Rodgers just suffered what may have been a serious injury. So why does it feel like Joe Biden's the one who's headed for the injured reserve list?

#Satire #NYTimesPitchbot

Via New York Times Pitchbot @DougJBalloon
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4m
Trump's youth and vigor provide a stark contrast to Biden's fragility and old age.

#Satire #NYTimesPitchbot

Via New York Times Pitchbot @DougJBalloon
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28s
Whether it's Republicans on the right nominating a sex harasser to be their nominee for president of the United States or universities on the left selecting sex harassers to serve on DEI and promotion committees, both sides have a sex harassment problem.

#Satire #NYTimesPitchbot

Via New York Times Pitchbot @DougJBalloon
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53m
Trump speaks more loudly and quickly than Biden. That shows he has greater mental acuity.

#Satire #NYTimesPitchbot

Via New York Times Pitchbot @DougJBalloon
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2h
Is Biden too old? These recipes from the 1920s may hold a clue.

#Satire #NYTimesPitchbot

Via New York Times Pitchbot
@DougJBalloon
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8m
The Case for Elon Musk Cutting off Traffic to the New York Times

by Bret Stephens

#Satire #NYTimesPitchbot

Via New York Times Pitchbot
@dougjballoon

Luis, Luis

The Spanish football president fancied himself a kingsman. But he robbed the champion women of their moment by trying to smell the rose in her hair. Now he’s singing, “me gotta go.”

by Maureen Dowd

#Satire #NYTimesPitchbot

Via New York Times Pitchbot
@DougJBalloon
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17m
How Do You Solve a Problem Like Crimea?

Bad boy Elon has fathered more children than Baron von Trapp, but taking down Starlink had Ukrainians saying so long, farewell to their internet. Somewhere in his youth or childhood, he must have done something good.

by Maureen Dowd

#Satire #NYTimesPitchbot

Via New York Times Pitchbot
@dougjballoon

A far-right billionaire is seeking to ban a mainstream Jewish group from social media. So why does it feel like it’s the left that has a big antisemitism problem?

#Satire #NYTimesPitchbot

Via New York Times Pitchbot
@DougJBalloon
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9m
Für Elise

Some say Representative Stefanik’s tactics are pathétique, but this girl from the North country’s populism is more Bob Dylan than Beethoven.

by Maureen Dowd

#Satire #NYTimesPitchbot

Via New York Times Pitchbot @DougJBalloon
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10m
What You Talkin’ About Willis?

Trump has more legal problems than the cast of Diff'rent Strokes, but a tough sentence from the Atlanta DA could teach him the real facts of life.

by Maureen Dowd

#Satire #NYTimesPitchbot

Via New York Times Pitchbot @DougJBalloon
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7m
Rudy Can’t Fail

Indictee Giuliani is more pasta man than Rasta man, but he may be drinking brew for breakfast.

by Maureen Dowd

#Satire #NYTimesPitchbot

Via New York Times Pitchbot
@DougJBalloon
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6h
Whether it's liberal activists protesting the invasion of Iraq or right-wing billionaires thwarting the Ukrainian military by turning its internet off, both sides have taken strong anti-war stances.

@newsopinionsandviews

"chronicled the rise and fall of Donald Trump, promised on Tuesday to tell readers how Fox News will end."

Problem is - unfortunately - tfg has hardly "fallen" and is the Repubs' front runner.

Wait, is that you, #NYTimesPitchbot?

@DougJBalloon

Opinion | Put the National Archives and Records Administration on the Blockchain

With both sides beset with scandals involving classified documents, it's time to rethink how we track documents.

By Andrew Yang

#NYTimesPitchBot

But wait, there’s more! #NYTimes hard to believe this isn’t from #NYTimesPitchbot

#Biden #ShoutIut to #NYTimesPitchbot

Tweaks? He’s actively spreading racism and misogyny, and leaking US/NATO war plans for Ukrain. #NYTimesPitchbot

Hey nyt I am a self-proclaimed astronaut as much as Musk is a “self-proclaimed free speech activist”. Will you identify me as such or do you only uncritically trumpet the “self-proclaimed” lies of fascists and antisemites? and he is not on a “mission to build out a fair platform.” Wtaf . Why do you promote transparent lies as fact? Shame on you. #nyt #nytwtaf #NYTLetters #nytimespitchbot #nytimesletterbox #nytwtaf #nytsucks

From the much missed #nytimespitchbot