Wonder how many other #Autistic people find themselves auto #masking & #PeoplePleasing on solicited reviews, yet somehow still being full-on Giga-Dweebess

*receives item* Good, just what I was expecting.

*sees that Etsy notification that won't go away* OMG IT'S PERFECT!😍 I've been looking for something like this FOREVER but this is the only one w/ the special doohickey AND it came with a sticker! I'd give 10⭐ if I could!! I can't wait to buy more stuff from this seller!!

😒 #Makeitstop

I need to stop agreeing to things that are suddenly sprung on me without fair warning or time required to properly consider the implications. I also need to do everything else on this list:
https://ccbhc.org/13-ways-to-stop-being-a-people-pleaser/
#peoplepleasing #boundaries #assertiveness #selfesteem #confidence #mentalhealth

Es muss ja nicht immer etwas #Neues sein.
Heute im #Blog: Entwicklungen in bekannten Lernfeldern.
1. #Altern (überraschenderweise betrifft mich das auch)
2. #PeoplePleasing (Warum muss eigentlich jede/r alles selbst lernen?)

https://ergebnisoffen.blogspot.com/2023/05/lernfelder-lernfelder-popernfelder.html
___
It doesn't always have to be something new.
Today in the blog: Developments in familiar fields of learning.
1. ageing (surprisingly, this also concerns me)
2. people pleasing (why does everyone have to learn everything themselves?)

Honestly I find people who won't take accountability or acknowledge what they did out of fear you'll be mad at them endlessly frustrating because they're actually *guaranteeing* we can't move on by not taking accountability. Accountability doesn't just mean people pleasing and hoping they forget, it means actually owning up to things even if that's scary, people!!

#MentalHealth #trauma #ptsd #accountability #abuse #PeoplePleasing

If I forget the fact that what other people think of me is out of my control, it’s far too easy for me to spend an inordinate amount of energy trying to control it—and there’s nothing but tears down that road for me. I end up people-pleasing (which is really just a nice-sounding word for “manipulation” or “dishonesty”). If I can remember that, just like anything else you might think, it’s none of my business, it makes it easier for me to stay out of trying to control it.

When I stay focused on doing what I believe to be right and appropriate, and not trying to control your impressions of me, I end up more satisfied, more fulfilled—and often more liked and respected as well.

How about you? What are your favorite strategies for staying out of other peoples’ heads? Let me know in the comments!

#mindset #peoplepleasing #youareenough #mentalfitness #humanity #mindshift #emotionalhealth #thinkingtraps #intentionalgrowth #professionalcoach #successmindset #mindsetcoaching

#Peoplepleasing is not: oh, my best #friend has a problem and now I have to listen to her shit because she is in a difficult time of her life and it will take time and I am an impatient b*tch and complaining… but: my #busdriver is so unfriendly, he never greets back, but last time a young student talked spanish with him and they had a blast and laught really loud so now I downloaded duolingo…

“Fountain Of Truth” opens with a six-layer cake of vocals, then follows it with a searing guitar hook. It’s an uptempo #powerpop song about not wanting to inconvenience others with your basic needs. #Relatable?

https://daydreems.bandcamp.com/track/fountain-of-truth-mono

#BandcampFriday #music #songwriting #pop #rock #retro #DIY #queer #trans #PeoplePleasing

Some Tuesday night #inspiration. Seeing this post helped me, so maybe it will help someone else.
#PeoplePleasing #Motivation #Courage #Goals

Reading #relationship books written for “#normals” when your partner
has a #ClusterB #PersonalityDisorder is like reading a how to build a birdhouse
manual in order to learn how to swim safely with sharks.

In other words, it's not going to help.

A relationship with a #narcissist, #borderline, #histrionic or Cluster B variety pack isn't dysfunctional and toxic due to the issues non-disordered people have in relationships. The problems aren't due to deficient #CommunicationSkills. Nor is because you don't "speak their #LoveLanguage." And it isn't because you're from Mars/Venus and they're from Uranus -- or whatever not take #responsibility-#BlameShifting-#DARVO bullshit excuse they concoct.

It's because they have an un/diagnosed personality disorder. Their love language is Crazy. They lack the fundamental emotional and psychological capacity to have a healthy and reciprocal emotionally mature relationship built upon mutual respect and empathy.

Furthermore, being more empathic, patient and "loving them harder" isn't going to help you either. That advice results in more #enabling, #codependence and #TraumaBonding -- not more love.

Again, the real issues are the #NPD, #BPD, #HPD character pathology, which can't be fixed. And your #codependency, #peoplepleasing, #traumahealing, etc., which you can work on.

If you want to learn how to have healthier relationships, read about how to best protect yourself from emotionally manipulative liars/predators and how to address your codependency and family of origin issues because nothing else is going to work.

#AbuseHasNoGender #TheMoreYouKnow

To progress with fixing my people pleasing ways I’m tempted to start saying no to everything then dialing it back from there to where it’s comfortable.

@actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistic #MentalHealth #SocialAnxiety #PeoplePleasing #Boundaries

But why is there no face for feeling obnoxious?
#PeoplePleasing

#Narcissists, #borderlines, #histrionics and other #toxicpeople flare up (like a bad case of hemorrhoids) more than their usual #drama and #fucknuttery during #Christmas, #Hanukkah, other holidays and special events. If your #FamilyOfOrigin has more than one #Crazy from the #ClusterB variety pack, you've probably come to dread the holiday season.

In numerous articles and videos, I’ve discussed how to survive the holidays with a #NPD/ #BPD spouse or ex with whom you share children. But what if the Crazy is your mom, dad, sister, brother or grandparent, etc? 

Are you EXPECTED to travel and pay homage to the Uber Golden Uterus Alles? Bend the knee to Narcaholic Dad? Soothe the savagely childish breast of your #BPD sister’s attention-seeking, holiday wrecking tantrums?

The key word is: EXPECTED. You’re an adult now. Have you ever considered that #NPD/BPD/ #HPD mom, dad, grandma, cousin, sister, brother, etc., can expect in one hand, #AdultTantrum in the other and see which one fills up first? ; )

Why do you visit? Why do you go? #fear, #obligation, #guilt (#FOG)? Financial dependence? #ApprovalSeeking in vain? #PeoplePleasing? In other words, what do YOU get out of it by visiting vs. not visiting?

Are your reasons healthy? Or do they perpetuate your #woundedchild #codependency? If no matter what you do is good enough, why not do what’s good for you and ignore the tantrums, caterwauling, #blame, guilt and #shame tactics instead?

Also, if #NORAD can track Santa, why can't they develop a #FlyingMonkey tracker? Just a suggestion, NORAD.

PEOPLE PLEASERS & HEARTBURN

You may be interested to know the emotions linked to heartburn include:

You feel overwhelmed by your upbringing because negative and positive experiences took place simultaneously. (Fight, flight, freeze, fawn).

You were taught to live and cope with a lack of love and support as you would be punished if you asked for more than you were given. You were often made to feel guilty or ashamed whenever you expressed your needs.

If you are practising expressing them and are good at it now, and you have heartburn issues, you have an emotional component still needing to be healed as well as some food intolerance things too.

This is one thing we will be unravelling, the trio of health aspect to better outcomes with your trauma coping mechanisms.

☆ Amanda ☆

REF: Summarised from Metaphysical Anatomy Vol 1 by Evette Rose

#peoplepleasing #burnout #trioofhealth