#joke #pleaseclap

I just made my worst mac & cheese ever. #PleaseClap

1) I tried these huge elbows. They stuck out of the water in the instant pot, so I added a little extra water. They *still* stuck out. After cooking, a bunch of the noodles that were sticking out were still rock hard, while all the water didn't get absorbed so the bottom was all watery.

2) we -were out of cheddar cheese, so I used some leftover gruyere and also a pre-shredded 3 cheese mix. Not a good flavor mix.

i would like everyone to be very amazed, because i've gone from a "at least two 16 oz redbull a day" to "one cup of black tea a day" within two weeks.

#pleaseClap

Cats don’t have bones, they’re just two Slinkies in a trench coat

#pleaseclap #cats #butnothemusical

Okay in unrelated news I've paid off my home equity line of credit
#PleaseClap

The Political Theater Behind the State of the Union Data Privacy Push - Biden’s speech calling for better data protections got a standing ovation from both sides... - https://www.wired.com/story/sotu-privacy-congress-biden/ #business/nationalaffairs #security/privacy #pleaseclap #security

Wired: The Political Theater Behind the State of the Union Data Privacy Push https://www.wired.com/story/sotu-privacy-congress-biden/ #Tech #wired #TechNews #IT #Technology via @morganeogerbc #Business/NationalAffairs #Security/Privacy #NationalAffairs #PleaseClap #Security #congress #politics #privacy #Policy

In may, i read Atomic Habits. I have several dozen notebooks in which i started to journal, but all of them trailed off before 60 days of writing. I decided I would first try the Atomic Habits techniques to build a habit of daily journaling.

Today, i filled the last page of a Moleskine i started 27 May 2022.

#AtomicHabits #PleaseClap

I know I'm very late to the (literal) game, but I finally completed all the B-sides in #Celeste, which for this decidedly middling gamer is quite the feat. #PleaseClap

#celestegame #bsides

I applied to like 5 jobs today #pleaseclap #imtired

Ordered a Beyond Meat burger for dinner at Alamo drafthouse while watching Avatar 2. #PleaseClap

Thinking of moving to Kent and opening a shop that sells wryly humorous bisexual paraphernalia. I’d call it the Arch Bi Shop of Canterbury.

#puns #jokes #BadJokes #bisexual #queer #lgbt #pleaseclap

The tree will be finished tomorrow. #PleaseClap

Nicolas Cage wouldn’t make a good Wicker Man movie, but Edward Woodward would.

#TheWickerMan #EdwardWoodward #EwarWoowar #NicolasCage #puns #jokes #terriblepuns #pleaseclap

RT @HalSparks@twitter.com

[Musk] ended the Q&A discussion by asking the crowd to: “Please everyone use Twitter.”

@ElonMusk@twitter.com is the Jeb Bush of New Money Assholes.
#PleaseClap
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2022-11-04/elon-musk-says-twitter-can-be-most-valuable-company-in-the-world?srnd=premium&leadSource=uverify%20wall

🐦🔗: https://twitter.com/HalSparks/status/1588615130367275011

Can we have a round of applause for @Johncdvorak for surviving all the suffering he went through collecting these Biden clips for us?

You sir are a true warrior.

#pleaseclap

#pleaseclap

@yukiame I'm finally here! #PleaseClap 😃