MusiqueNow :newpride: · @MusiqueNow
800 followers · 21815 posts · Server todon.eu
T.Wllms · @tdwllms1
798 followers · 19042 posts · Server mstdn.social

@Peg33

he's the king of it.... the entire GOP is near as bad...

™️

#professionalvictim

Last updated 1 year ago

Shrink4Men · @Shrink4Men
19 followers · 83 posts · Server lor.sh

: Strategic or Weaponized

Or, what I’ve long referred to as playing dumb and/or deliberately screwing up tasks in order to get out of doing them in the future. Typically utilized by the or , the variety pack, the and the . (*These groups are not mutually exclusive.)

We’re all human. We all make mistakes. What matters is that we take ownership of our blunders and f—k-ups, apologize, fix it (if possible) and make an honest effort to be more careful in the future. Furthermore, many people have individual particular preferences that, when we share a space with others, we may need to accept won’t always be accommodated.

For example, toilet paper flap goes over not under. Small logs on top and bigger logs on the bottom of the firewood stack. Perfectly folded fitted sheets.

Strategic or weaponized incompetence is repetitive carelessness, damage and destruction of your property and the foisting of one’s share of responsibilities at work or at home. It’s a behavior pattern that repeatedly occurs over time. Generally, it doesn’t get better because it’s not an anomalous unintentional screw-up. It’s an intentional tactic serving to reduce the effort they put into the relationship that requires you to contribute more.

Ever wonder why relationships with these types are so exhausting? I mean, beside the , pointless circular arguments, absence of formal logic and other crazy-making irrationalities and abuse?
Because these individuals dump the as much of their adult responsibility onto their partners, kids, colleagues and other as they can get away with.

If or when you finally express frustration or the tiniest bit of criticism, the , or will:

a) . “Why are you being so mean?!?! It’s not like I do these things on purpose!!”

b) Attack and What About. “Oh, like you’re Mr./Ms. Perfect!? Like you never screw up!?!?! What about the [one time you made an honest mistake, apologized and corrected the mistake that the , or holds over you in perpetuity]?!?!?!?!”

c) Martyr mode. “I can’t do anything right. You must be so sick of me. I’m so stupid. I bet you hate me now. Boo hoo, boo hoo, boo hoo hoo hoo.”

d) Minimize and dismiss. “You’re such a perfectionist! Why do you always have to make a mountain out of a molehill? You’re soooooo sensitive. If you’re so unhappy with how I do things, why don’t you do it yourself?!”

e) Rage.

f) All of the above.

You can begin cooking, cleaning up, etc., only for yourself. However, don’t be surprised if their clutter stacks become high rises and their bathroom sink becomes caked with toothpaste, shaved hairs and other nastiness. This measure isn’t possible if you share kids with them, of course.

Mature adults and good partners don’t dump their share of household responsibility onto the other partner. If your girlfriend, wife, boyfriend or husband engages in strategic incompetence, I wager it isn’t their only selfish, immature, exploitative and shitty behavior. Do you really want to live with this?

[*The earliest use I can find for the term Strategic incompetence is by Robert Sutton, PhD author of "The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't, which is a really good book!]

#narcissistdictionary #incompetence #damselindistress #dudeindistress #clusterb #professionalvictim #passivaggressive #drama #enablers #narcissist #borderline #histrionic #playvictim #npd #bpd #hpd #abusehasnogender

Last updated 2 years ago

T.Wllms · @tdwllms1
501 followers · 8515 posts · Server mstdn.social

@stevesilberman

Matt Schlapp... ™️

#professionalvictim

Last updated 2 years ago

Shrink4Men · @Shrink4Men
5 followers · 26 posts · Server lor.sh

So you’re thinking about not spending time with your this , , , , but still enjoy a Christmas tree, etc., this year. Good on you!

Before settling in for a long winter’s nap in your kerchief or cap, I suggest the following:

1. Gird your loins – whatever this means to you. Meditation, medication, primal screams, working out, making time to do nothing, extra dog walks, watching the Colin Firth version of Pride and Prejudice or Throw Momma from the Train on endless repeat. Again, whatever works for you.

2. Let the least toxic family member know you’re sitting this year out.

3. Mute phone contacts who are and/or for the apex , or in anticipation of rolling , , and other .

4. If you struggle with guilt and , x 100. Remember, choosing to opt out of abuse, drama and holiday histrionics isn’t wrong. Seriously, you're not doing anything wrong! You’re exercising healthy and practicing .

As an adult, you get to choose what’s best for you. It is your responsibility to yourself.

Besides, opting out of holiday visits gives / / parent, sibling, etc., fresh ™ material. And let’s face, they’re going to victim it up whether you visit or not.

And, since they love nothing more than a nice new juicy tale of victimhood, your absence is the best gift you can give them!

In other words, "You’re welcome, mom and/or dad!"

#toxicfamily #christmas #hanukkah #festivus #atheist #enablers #flyingmonkeys #narcissist #borderline #histrionic #guilttrips #shame #balme #manipulation #obligation #realitytest #boundaries #selfcare #npd #bpd #hpd #professionalvictim #abusehasnogender #npdfreechristmas #bpdfreechristmas

Last updated 2 years ago

Shrink4Men · @Shrink4Men
5 followers · 14 posts · Server lor.sh

When a is loudly victim-ing, it's usually because they're experiencing for their shitty choices and behavior.

#professionalvictim #consequences #abusehasnogender #npd #bpd #hpd #narcissist #borderline #histrionic

Last updated 2 years ago

Emperor Palpapeen · @Shrexios
59 followers · 6226 posts · Server mastodon.social

Jada Smith is really milking the alopecia thing! Girl, listen, you don't have cancer, stop it!

#professionalvictim

Last updated 2 years ago

Emperor Palpapeen · @Shrexios
65 followers · 6466 posts · Server mastodon.social

Jada Smith is really milking the alopecia thing! Girl, listen, you don't have cancer, stop it!

#professionalvictim

Last updated 2 years ago

@adam I don't understand why she would engage when she has two toddlers in tow. Oh...wait... I know why! She's got +2 on victimization.

#professionalvictim

Last updated 8 years ago