If you really think that using the word "#narcissism" is #ableist, please watch this video:

https://youtu.be/eISuc8v7B1M

To summarize (poorly), the #research is beginning to recognize that the #personality #disorders, as diagnoses, do those to whom they are applied more harm than good. Most #narcissists will never see a #therapist, and they'll never be #diagnosed with #NPD. The people who are diagnosed with NPD are #vulnerable, and it's possible they need a second opinion.

But the #ableism? It's calling from inside the house.

Because if you're still convinced that saying "#narcissistic" is ableist, then rather than shouting "ableist" at the top of your lungs to people who are #survivors (and in some cases present #victims) of people who engage in narcissistic #behaviors, are the most likely to take your words seriously. They are the most likely to experience worse #abuse as a result of your disempowering them and silencing them.

Instead of #silencing survivors, try to consider what words may be used instead of narcissism. It's not correct to say that "narcissistic abuse" is the same as #emotional abuse. Narcissistic abuse may be a form of emotional abuse, but its insidiousness goes far beyond what most people who experience emotional abuse ever experience.

A lot of people who think of "narcissism" as an ableist term will eagerly call its users ableist without offering any alternative words that will allow them to speak about their specific type of suffering. So let Dr. #Ramani do the work for you: Consider sharing the term "#antagonistic #relationship #style" or, in lieu of "narcissistic abuse," antagonistic #relational abuse, with those who you might otherwise re-#traumatize with your careless #social #justice #barbarism.

Because silencing the survivors of abuse, many of whom have #PTSD from living with narcissistic (or antagonistic) persons, is the real ableism.

#psychology #socialJustice #mentalHealth #stigma

I did some more research on the subject of #narcissism, and I managed to find this video by Dr. #Ramani #Durvasula, a #licensed #clinical #psychologist in Los Angeles, CA, #professor #emerita of #psychology at California State University, and the founder of LUNA Education, Training, and Consulting. She studies narcissism and #NPD for a living, and what she says about narcissism reflects all that I've been saying tonight. Here she is, discussing whether it's OK to "#diagnose" someone with the "illness" of narcissism. (Hint: It's not, and that's not what's happening anyway.)

"...let's take on the biggest myth of all: Narcissism is an illness, or it's a diagnosis. Now this is a common one, and in fact, it is often used to #shame survivors of narcissistic #abuse."

Which entirely explains why I've felt silenced by the folks who keep telling me that I "shouldn't use the term" for various reasons including "you'll stigmatize non-abusive narcissists" or "you can't diagnose people who aren't your patients."

She goes onto use several examples such as the very things I've been told tonight: "You can't say that this person's narcissistic! You're not a doctor!"

She concludes: "The word, the term, the concept of narcissism is not diagnostic. It is descriptive."

With all this concern for narcissists, it's surprising to see so little concern for the silencing of #victims and #survivors or narcissistic abuse. But when you consider that pet issues like this become hyped to the point that individuals stop being reasonable and stop listening to others, it makes sense why people who are hyperfocused on protecting narcissists become so willing to throw their victims and survivors under the bus.

Listen to Dr. Ramani speak at length about this common misunderstanding about narcissism, which creates an environment where victims and survivors of abuse are silenced or shamed in her video titled: "Narcissism is an Illness: Fact or Fiction?" She talks a lot about narcissism, so if the subject interests you, she has a lot to say about it (and has written several books on the subject matter).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRa1cWAqBgw&t=37s

Thank you, Dr. Ramani, for helping me to feel seen, heard, and valid. 💙

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Atlasi yenye picha: kwa shule za msingi za Tanzania by Wizara ya Elimu ya Taifa

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