There’s a big difference between being #alone and feeling all alone. Typically, clients often feel less lonely/all alone as singles than when with their exes. That’s because you are alone in a relationship with a #narcissist, #borderline, #histionic or #psychopath.

Alone in effort, #intimacy peace-keeping, problem-solving, etc. Your needs, feelings and wants don’t matter. You only exist as an ego-gratifying object and scapegoat. Presumably, you’re also all alone in terms of emotional and psychological maturity, empathy, accountability, integrity and conscience. In some ways, you’re the single parent of an angry, cruel, selfish, pathologically dishonest, destructive adult toddler you can’t put in timeout. In this respect, I agree that being a single parent of an adult toddler is the toughest job there is ; )

Why are you all alone in a relationship with a #BPD, #NPD, #HPD?

1) The #lovebomb version of them at the beginning of the relationship wasn’t real. It’s a patchwork of #idealization, #mirroring, #projection, #TraumaBonding via #intensity and #bullshit.

2) It’s impossible for an adult to have an equal/equitable partnership with a child. This includes the #AdultToddler of the #ClusterB variety pack. They don’t want a partner; they want enablers. Even if you enable like an Olympic champion-level doormat/nanny/ego fluffer, they’ll eventually resent you for that, too. And then, the more you enable them – which is super unhealthy, btw – the worse they treat you.

3) Relationships with BPD/NPD/HPD aren’t two-way streets (i.e., mutual and reciprocal). They’re one-way streets paved with double standards. These individuals are pathologically self-absorbed and selfish.

4) After the #LoveBombing stage, you become a screen onto which they #project all of their flaws and psychological sewage. Objective reality is irrelevant.

You are alone in these relationships because you never really existed to them in the first place. Meaning, they never really appreciate a partner for who they truly are. But rather how willing you are to:

- Tolerate abuse and exploitation.
- #Enable them.
- Sacrifice/care for them without getting anything in return.
- Never hold them accountable.

Basically, any #codependent, trauma bond/ #RepetitionCompulsion/ #PeoplePleaser/ #fixer/ #resuer will do.

Therefore, isn’t it better to be alone than to feel all alone in a #ToxicRelationship? Or, to be alone rather than wish you were alone? Table for one, please!

#AbuseHasNoGender #TheMoreYouKnow