When I got out of the shower this morning, the child's morning music was playing. Specifically, "Don't Worry, Be Happy." I started quietly singing along, and got to one of the many repetitions of the song's title.
And then I *specifically made it a point* to move in front of the mirror, point at my reflection, and say "Except you. You don't deserve to be happy."
And then seamlessly went back to what I was doing.
For all the c*nts what keep telling me that ah'd be more attractive if I smiled moar. Art by Shawn Coss. #Depression #SelfHatred
@KiltedQueer
#RejectionSensitiveDysphoria and #SelfHatred are vile demons to have. When my depression quietly kicks off it helps these two horrors do their worst. You are not alone friend & have nothing to be sorry for. It's them pig-faced demons that should be sorry.
#rejectionsensitivedysphoria #selfhatred
My explanation for MANY of mah reactions are #RejectionSensitiveDysphoria and severe #SelfHatred. I hate this but I also cannae escape it. My #MentalHealth team helps me cope, but mah monsters hae the upper hand as it were. #ImVeryBroken #ImSorry
#ImSorry #imverybroken #mentalhealth #selfhatred #RejectionSensitiveDysphoria
Ok, I've decided tae share this as I see nae need not tae. I suffer frae #ED due tae the unfortunate combinations of medications I MUST take. I also suffer frae #PeyroniesDisease what makes my ED inoperable. Because of this, I havnae had penetrative sex for 17 year and my severe #MDD and #SelfHatred cause me tae nae have any other form of sex. A week ago, I received an inflatable #PenileImplant. This may change my life a wee bit. Questions welcome.
#penileimplant #selfhatred #mdd #peyroniesdisease #ed
Having a wee #crush on someone is lovely. Having one on someone taken kinda sucks arse but is safe as all fuck. But fer the love o' wee green apples, never make it known! #romance #unrequited #shy #SelfHatred #SufferingInSilence
#SufferinginSilence #selfhatred #shy #unrequited #romance #crush
I think I finally got it thru mah #Psychiatrist heid that my #SuicidalIDeations and extreme #SelfHatred innae gaen anywhere, hence untreatable. I want tae attempt tae enjoy life whatever that means, but I will always want suicide as an option. I think she finally gets it. #MajorDepressiveDisorderRecurrent, #Dysthymia #OCPD #PTSD #Neurodivergent #IAmVeryBroken #YouShouldReallyRun
#youshouldreallyrun #iamverybroken #neurodivergent #ptsd #ocpd #Dysthymia #majordepressivedisorderrecurrent #selfhatred #suicidalideations #psychiatrist
I want a partner. I want tae #date. I suffer frae #SelfHatred so even if there WAS an attraction, I would sabotage it. My monsters do this tae protect the other person. This is the joys of #MDD and #Dysthemia with a lovely dose of crippling #OCPD. #IAmVeryBroken. The saving grace is that with my lack of desirability, none of the above is likely tae happen lol. #Depression #MentalHealth
#mentalhealth #Depression #iamverybroken #ocpd #dysthemia #mdd #selfhatred #date
@debihope I lust after unobtainable people for fear that obtainable ones might like me back. #SelfHatred #Fear
Artwork by Shawn Coss. Diagnosis are mine all mine. #MajorDepressiveDisorderRecurrent #SuicidalIdeations #Dysthymia #PTSD #OCD #SelfHatred #IAmVeryBroken
#iamverybroken #selfhatred #ocd #ptsd #Dysthymia #suicidalideations #majordepressivedisorderrecurrent
Artwork by Shawn Coss. Diagnosis are mine all mine. #MajorDepressiveDisorderRecurrent #SuicidalIdeations #Dysthymia #PTSD #OCD #SelfHatred #IAmVeryBroken
#iamverybroken #selfhatred #ocd #ptsd #Dysthymia #suicidalideations #majordepressivedisorderrecurrent
I donnae #follow people tae be followed back. I'm fine is ye donnae follow me back, this saves meh frae wondering just what the fuck is wrong ye. #SelfHatred
#MajorDepressiveDisorderRecurrent with extreme #selfhatred is: "Hi, I hae a friend that would love tae meet ye."
"I wudnae recommend that love, I am a poor life decision."
An the solitude continues.
#majordepressivedisorderrecurrent #selfhatred
I shall describe mahsel in twa words: I am a very poor life decision. #SelfHatred #Depression
I can love you so deeply that it transcends my understanding. I am unable tae love mahsel...even the concept of that makes me physically ill. My question for you is, can you love me for both of us? #depression #SelfHatred
A person on here gave me a crackin idea! Instead of dating and loving humans, just send me a voodoo doll of ye! #dating #neurodivergent #voodoodoll #selfhatred
#dating #neurodivergent #voodoodoll #selfhatred
I feel it is my duty tae tell people who might wind up being dating material that I am #depressed have weekly #suicidalideations , hae diagnosed #OCD and #ptsd...and extreme #selfhatred tae the degree that I fully believe that no one cud ever love or even like meh...and if they DO, that it will crash and burn. So rather than risk it, I crash and burn it maself. This makes people run, and it hurts like I cannae put intae words.
#depressed #suicidalideations #ocd #ptsd #selfhatred