The pet shop delivery has come. There's nothing cuter than a #SingaporeGangsterCat inspecting his food supplies. His nose was atwitch and his whiskers were up and out.

Me: I don't need any more #FluentPet buttons, #SingaporeGangsterCat has only managed three button presses in three months.

Also me: Ooh, black edging pieces. Kirei! https://fluent.pet/collections/all-accessories/products/fluentpet-edge-pieces

I have a problem, I know I do.

Poor #SingaporeGangsterCat spent the day in the Torpor of Betrayal after getting a round of cat bath foam. He barely deigned to emerge and notify me of mealtimes. But then he condescended to enjoy a lap scritching session and a play session, and he just came over to check out the sound of (human) food emerging from a plastic packet. He is loafing in his chair next to me now. We'll be okay.

I unpacked a giant air purifier.

#SingaporeGangsterCat's first reaction: I am insulted that I was not invited to this Event of Interesting Sounds.

Later: I Am Not Scared. Really. You can tell by the way I am sharpening my claws and hunting imaginary objects.

Later: I suggest fleeing the Dangerous Noises Caused by Large Objects.

Later: Every cat for himself! Bye!

Later: Oh hello. Nothing to see here. Just a Cat Who Was Never Scared in His Whole Life.

#SingaporeGangsterCat is curled up so winsomely next to me right now. You wouldn't believe that everyone who has laid eyes on him has immediately used the words "fierce" or "garang" (which means "fierce" in Malay). That is, until you zoom in on the curling corner of his little mouth. Full and fierce and sharp and sly, that's my beloved little not-really-little gangster cat.

#SingaporeGangsterCat clicks when he walks, because he sharpens his hind claws so carefully. 😍

@stephaniepixie this is the kind of thing that made me think #SingaporeGangsterCat was cosplaying me! He was a little closer to the pillow though.

#SingaporeGangsterCat likes the middle of the bed, and he thinks my chair is better than his. He's gotten much less interested in the sofa because I'm not spending time there.

Is he pretending he's in my lap, or is he just cosplaying me?

@Menhit #SingaporeGangsterCat rallies to your aid and will help you conduct a lightning reconnaissance of the best hiding places!

Of course, he'll try to hog the best one once he's found it ...

@netkitty #SingaporeGangsterCat recommends finding a nice potted plant to curl up around in the shade! 🪴

ZOMG #SingaporeGangsterCat just did it! He pressed a talking button! The one for "Play!" It took him almost 6 weeks!

I don't know if it was a fluke, but we got a great play session out of it anyway.

I can't wait for him to do it again!

#FluentPet @maryrobinette

Here's what I'm going to do.

If I post a food photo or a recipe for your delectation, I will add both the hashtag and content warning in future. But currently, all my relevant posts are about #SingaporeGangsterCat trying to steal my food. The content warning is appropriate, but I'd be spamming the food hashtag if I used it for cat content.

So I'm going to use the tag #FoodMention, so that people who don't want to see food content warnings can filter me out. 4/n

I am 100% sure that #SingaporeGangsterCat occasionally says to himself, "I have no idea what the human is thinking, how am I supposed to tell when they've got no ear expression."

Some hypotheses that #SingaporeGangsterCat has entertained over the years:

If you hear rain sounds, you must take shelter under a car. A roof will not do.

All metallic sounds involving cans are tidings of great joy and wet food. Like cans being scraped clean and tinned peaches being opened.

Fiddly silverware sounds mean that a tiny morsel of tasty human protein is being sectioned off for you.

A human carrying a single item of silverware is clearly transporting a snack to your bowl.

#SingaporeGangsterCat often sits by me while I eat, looking thoughtful and studious.

This is because he is studying human ways and plotting his next stealth assault on our food supplies.

I love my little cat scientist.

I seduced #SingaporeGangsterCat off the streets when I got back to Singapore. All my neighbours had tried before me, but he had sternly resisted the indoors.

So now, whenever he voices his displeasure - at having his ears cleaned or claws cut or boredom assuaged - I imagine him saying, "Was it for this I was seduced?"

I proudly presented #SingaporeGangsterCat with sisal scratchers to replace the tacky cardboard ones that have been carpeting my flat with little brown flecks.

He's not having them.

Oh cat.

This round of being sick is really hitting my appetite. Thank heavens for ikan bilis and instant rice. So far I've always been able to eat that and enjoy it.

Ikan bilis are tiny fried fish, less than an inch long. You can imagine how enthralling #SingaporeGangsterCat finds them. He knows he'll get one at the end of the meal if that was on the menu.

#SingaporeGangsterCat still seems profoundly uninterested in the #FluentPet buttons. But I'm rereading How Stella Learned to Talk now, and it seems even a clever puppy took two weeks to show signs of noticing them. And my cat is not a fast learner, except in extremis. It took him over a year to use the cat door for my bedroom, since the door was always propped for him. So I'll have to be prepared for a similar time frame here.

Made a couple of changes in #SingaporeGangsterCat's #FluentPet setup.

1. I changed "outside" to "open window". It will be much less tiring for me to follow through on that one whenever he's interested. And we haven't been able to do outside time at a time that works for both him and me lately.

2. I have distributed the three buttons to appropriate locations. Since he's not going to be combining words meaningfully any time soon, we don't need to centralise them yet.