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DeManiak 🇿🇦 · @kaasbaas

94 followers · 646 posts · Server mastodon.africa

PSA: #snowmageddon2023 #SouthAfrica

Under the prevailing cold conditions, broccoli is no longer clasified as food.
It has been reclassified as a war crime.

Please update your recipes accordingly.

#snowmageddon2023 #southafrica

Last updated 1 year ago

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DeManiak 🇿🇦 · @kaasbaas

94 followers · 641 posts · Server mastodon.africa

PSA: #snowmageddon2023 #SouthAfrica

Until the current weather conditions improve, it is acceptable to sit on your hands - to warm them up, in order to perform tasks such as typing and digging for diamonds.

Using gas to speed up the heating is still frowned on, however.

#snowmageddon2023 #southafrica

Last updated 1 year ago

Original post

DeManiak 🇿🇦 · @kaasbaas

94 followers · 635 posts · Server mastodon.africa

PSA: #snowmageddon2023 #SouthAfrica

Kite flying is prohibited under the prevaling weather conditions.

The extreme winds might take your kite too high, causing American spy satelites to mistake it for a Chinese spy balloon.

Hijinks will ensue.
The government does not approve of hijinks unless there is at least 30% local ownership of these hijinks.

Shenannigans are ok though, as long as proper permits have been obtained from your local municipality.

#snowmageddon2023 #southafrica

Last updated 1 year ago

Original post

DeManiak 🇿🇦 · @kaasbaas

94 followers · 605 posts · Server mastodon.africa

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PSA: #snowmageddon2023 #SouthAfrica

Under the prevailing cold weather conditions, it is virally important to take proper precautions when going to bed.

For example, extra blankets.
Warm water bottles.
Consider sleeping with socks on.

If sharing a bed with a partner, other precautionary measures are also advised, as depicted below.

#snowmageddon2023 #southafrica

Last updated 1 year ago

Original post

DeManiak 🇿🇦 · @kaasbaas

94 followers · 593 posts · Server mastodon.africa

PSA: #snowmageddon2023 #SouthAfrica

You don't own snow tyres.

You wouldn't know what to do with them if you did.

You don't know "snow driving".
Nee, Van Reenen's Pass and the muddy farm road don't count.
2 rounds on kyalami 5 years ago also don't count.

If you see a snow flake in the ground, call in sick. Everybody will be better off.

#snowmageddon2023 #southafrica

Last updated 1 year ago

Original post

DeManiak 🇿🇦 · @kaasbaas

94 followers · 590 posts · Server mastodon.africa

PSA: #snowmageddon2023 #SouthAfrica

The government has declared that emergency rations of biltong and Ouma's biskuit will be distributed from emergency distributing points until the current cold emergency is no longer an emergency.

#snowmageddon2023 #southafrica

Last updated 1 year ago

Original post

DeManiak 🇿🇦 · @kaasbaas

94 followers · 587 posts · Server mastodon.africa

PSA: #snowmageddon2023 #SouthAfrica

The HPCSA has ruled that under the prevailing kak koud conditions, you are allowed to have kondensmelk in your koffie, never mind your dieet.
And tea.
In fact, just eat a whole tin.

It's ok. your doctor won't say anything.

#snowmageddon2023 #southafrica

Last updated 1 year ago

Original post