So I was going to post a long personal toot about today...

(I got a second all-clear on my CML today. The chemo is working!)

...long because I wanted to speak to @isamcrozier about his 7 attentions toot.

Could I find it? I thought I'd bookmarked it.. (I have now) so I went searching his TL for it and I found his diary... https://kolektiva.social/@isamcrozier/109420047805903768

So I'm going to write in it, being the kind of old woman I am. He can't complain. He left it out where anyone could find it! That's my excuse, and I'm smoking it. :weed:

I'm not surprised you feel the way you do about Kolektiva. I didn't see your toots - sometimes my TL cuts to 2/3 toots and won't load. I'd've replied if I'd seen them. But I agree there's something missing here. Something vital if there's any truth in anarchy as she is lived version. It doesn't have a beating heart.

I don't know if this was always true - there's been a massive influx of tweeps, which means it may have changed. Some have acquired bad habits which need dealing with. There will be those who will vigorously oppose this. One side will win because the other side will leave and call us bad names. Here's hoping.

You're my friend, Isham. Let's have us a human-to-human anarchist convo.

I don't give a flying fuck what you need to do to make a living in these hard times. If twitter is your marketplace, go with whatever god you love... and shine!

Anarchists wish one another well - because when they do well, we do well too. It's shared.

You can take your purity tests and stick them up your arse *note: please *hear* this in a posh London accent - this is how I speak*.

Anarchists are funny. We're real people loaded with flaws, and faults, and soul-level unfixables but healables. We're all different, unique and filled with possibilities. Who knows what we're capable of learning, or doing... or Loving.

Kolektiva is another word for Love. We are Gestalt - individuals who make up a greater form of wholeness together. We can only do this when we know how to Love... and know how real Love behaves.

This is a spiritual matter because Gestalt is another word for *God* - or Sky Father in my land-linked pagan faith. I tend to leave him to the lads, I serve a Goddess in my own personal faith as experienced by me. Alone. I'm not selling. I suppose I'm a #Crone-level #Hedgewitch. It'll do. And I belong here.

This is my community as well as our community and disrespectful or dehumanising behaviour is not tolerated. This means checking out those just arrived with low follow/high follower accounts. This is grandstanding, and egoistic behaviour and we don't need this attention-seeking behaviour in our community. It's been encouraged on the birdsite - I call it suspect on here...

...unless the human being inside the position has earned it. (@joannechocolat comes to mind - sorry for tagging you into another instance's squabble but you're a good example. I especially like how you stay true to you whatever you're dealing with
❤️ ).

In a true anarchy against capitalism, real anarchists leave you feeling good about yourself.

Since I've clearly built a pulpit. It's time to build an #AnarchistsChapel. It can't be anything other than multi-faith because it works on a bring your own faith basis - how does Love work for you in the world... and how do you share it?

My qualifications as #AnarchistChaplain are a 7 year sentence: 5 in prison, 2 probation (until I sacked them for gross misconduct) for wounding with intent and 1 year for threatening to kill a police officer. What's yours? In anarchy, an ex-con like me can easily qualify as a pagan anarchist chaplain... At least I'm not a hypocrite.

And you doing this to Isham and me, what are you doing to my other friendly and helpful folk like @TotalNoise and @EmmaKelley?

While these folk tear at us, our attention is averted from our community and our more immediate needs. We each have

There will be stuff in this you don't understand. Don't worry, it's not aimed at you - it's aimed at the other people who will read all the way down to here and then make up their own minds. Take the stuff you DO understand and see how it fits with yours. Think points of contact and how we influence each other.

I'd tag a whole lot of other folk but I think I'd like to keep it intra-Kolektiva. It's a Soul-level issue and I think we need space to reflect, check in with yourself. Got anything that might need decolonising in your mind and how it might impact in your own instance... and do the same work there.

Mastodon has a soul. I'm a former @WeirderEarth.social member - friend of @mykola on here & the birdsite (I dropped the woman, Myk. It got cumbersome.) I've met it in how people are on here but I don't know about Kolektiva - I'm hoping you'll tell me... I'm fairly new here.

I share power and I'd like to share it with you. A lot of this toot is set on #SoulResonance. You recognise what I'm saying but you'd say it differently. That stuff.

The fascism is about to erupt - full-blown in Britain, if I'm not mistaken. It's vital anarchist's polarise this energy by deepening whatever your connection to whatever it is that resonates even if you have no words to describe it.

Making other people feel good in these dark times by random acts of kindness and senseless creative beauty - sharing it around. That's anarchism in my reality. We each a part of something bigger and we all need you to be you - just as you are - in this world for us to start really transforming and restoring our IRL and online communities - and being ready to take on the fascists.

I'm sharing the kindness I received from everyone involved in today's almost seamlessly easy hospital visit; taxi drivers who took me through countryside and mining villages, the nurses and registrar, and the spirit of Terry Pratchett's Granny Weatherwax & Tiffany Aching to keep me company. When it's that good, it's a Goddess-gift and it's meant for sharing.

As an ex-con, I can tell you that this method works for me. If this works the way I think it might, it will work for you too, it will be the same/different. We need this upgrade to our faith in Love AND our faith in each other. And it can't be disguised. Folk will find connection through coincidence, synchronicity, serendipity - whatever you want to call it.

If you find my change of tone abrupt, that's because I'm speaking from another part of my life's multiverse. Different people need different narratives to play with.

Thank you for your patience, everyone. I'm coming to a close.

Here, Isham, you can have your diary back😘