@TheRatCantRead @bflipp

Yep. That's what I think it is.

You may remember the #Spring2020AutisticLockdown thread I did back in January.

It's made up of quotes (scroll to the bottom and read up) from autistic people who understood all this well enough that they weren't trying to fit into or find supportive community with those who weren't on their level.

Much of it just brutally funny, too.

Of course, it helped that they had each other.

At any rate, this is what I've learned thus far, from reflecting on the experiences of AutismTwitter during the #Spring2020AutisticLockdown.

What to say to never-traumatized folks about the pantrauma, I've yet to figure out.

It's only a half-joke though for me to suggest that everyone, regardless of trauma experience, set up an altar to Pan.

[fin]

#pantrauma

"I know this will probably come off like an overgeneralized statement but it really feels like right now like the broken people are being relatively mellow about stuff and the functional neurotypical people are crawling up the fucking walls"

—

"Basically, all of my therapy clients with regular anxiety are freaking the fuck out, but all my clients with trauma anxiety are like [shrugging emoji]."

#Spring2020AutisticLockdown

https://maly.io/@ebk/109678534423498169

Here's the thing. I'm well-enough steeped in details of differences, strengths and weaknesses, between autistic and non-autistic cognitive styles that I could talk about them.

I just don't see, given this account's focus, how that discussion has much place here. And I believe the #Spring2020AutisticLockdown posts prove that point.

True, autistics may draw fear, anger, and resentment where we outperform neurotypicals. That's primarily their problem.

#traumapants

The thread though (#Spring2020AutisticLockdown) wasn't about autism or autistics at all.

It was about the trauma of isolation. How a pre-isolated group A views a group B undergoing a limited version of their own isolation. Wherein group B remains the enforcer of group A's permanent isolation.

Seems worth saying, I had a lot of engagement on these posts. Heavy emphasis on favorites rather than boosts or replies.

So I saw yall have been along for the ride, albeit quietly.

#traumapants

Did anyone notice, over nearly 3 weeks of #Spring2020AutisticLockdown, that no one was "using their autism" to so easily survive the whole ordeal?

What they did say was, "Been here, been doing this already. And yes, it's traumatizing. So we do 'get' what the neurotypicals are going through."

And then opinions were divided as to whether the neurotypicals deserve empathy, or doth protest too much.

Given, you know, the givens.

Of everyone shunning autistics, as standard procedure.

#traumapants

Beginning to round out the autism threads now, bringing them back home as to why this all belongs on Global Dark Theme.

Hashtags that've brought matters along to this point :

#Spring2020AutisticLockdown (~18)
#LatN (5)
#GDTautismIntro (8)
#WhoTalks (13)
#LivingInFear (2)
#DPSO! (7)
#traumapants (next)
#pantrauma (later)

Spoiler: none of this, it turns out, has anything to do with autism.

It has everything to do with trauma.

An experience not at all limited to autistics.

Now if only we knew the neurotypical equivalent; research indicates "How are you?" doesn't mean what we think it means.

In the meantime, the fact that I have special interests to support and distract me, and the neurotypicals don't, is highlighting our differences in ways I never trained for & don't know how to hide.

Neurotypicals, prepare to be amazed by your disabled & ND people.

#LatN

5/5

#Spring2020AutisticLockdown

[fin]

Only when I can't keep up the math course that makes me feel curious and new, the freelancing work that makes me feel strong & in control, and the reading that calms me and keeps me grounded, only when I've had to give up all of those interests, will anything else be affected.

So if you want to know if your autistic person is doing OK, the material question is not "How's work/school/family?"

It's "How are your special interests?"

#LatN

4/4

#Spring2020AutisticLockdown

[fin]

Autistic people and other NDs know how to have one area of their life fall apart and still protect the key areas, for survival. So when we suffer, work/school/family are the last to go.

First, we sacrifice our beloved special interests.

#LatN

3/

#Spring2020AutisticLockdown

The neurotypicals never learned how to sacrifice all of their energy just so they'd appear fine when & where it counts. They don't know how to triage. When they suffer, the big things in their life suffer first: work, school, family.

#LatN

2/

#Spring2020AutisticLockdown

We're so withdrawn primarily because hell is neurotypicals. The hashtag for those quotes:

#Spring2020AutisticLockdown

Discussion includes *already* having *learned* to self-isolate, not by choice but for their own survival. Both due to and at a further cost of significant trauma.

Autistic or not, trauma will leave you with fewer illusions, better able to see things for what they are. Half-assed lockdowns during a deadly pandemic included.

(It's okay, we're headed back home now.)

#WhoTalks

Living among the neurotypicals log

[edit: this was posted April 25, 2020, several weeks into the "lockdown"]

Day 11,353

The neurotypicals are tired. Worse, they are noticing I'm not tired yet. Not like them. I trained for years to pretend I was fine - when they were all fine. To blend in. But now they're stressed and tired; I never trained for that.

#LatN

1/

#Spring2020AutisticLockdown

"people with PTSD and cPTSD who appear calm and relaxed right now - what you're seeing isn't 'smugness'. we're not enjoying this - it's just that finally, for a few days or weeks, the endless choir of voices saying 'everything is okay and we are all safe' have gone silent."

#Spring2020AutisticLockdown

"Oh sure, now when we need everyone to stay home, it's 'self isolating' and 'the smart thing to do'

but for decades, autistic homebodies just minding our own business were 'being antisocial' and 'stunting our development' :hand to chin thoughtful:

and now WE'RE the ones getting DNRs :eyeroll frown:"

#Spring2020AutisticLockdown

"The people justifying allowing disabled people to die with 'IT'S BASIC TRIAGE' are terrifying. They have no concept of what triage actually is. Triage is taking a group of wounded or sick people and determining who to treat 1st b ..."

[Might have skipped this because my copy's incomplete (& the original's gone). It pairs well tho with this next. "DNR" standing for a Do Not Resuscitate order.]

#Spring2020AutisticLockdown

"I know this will probably come off like an overgeneralized statement but it really feels like right now like the broken people are being relatively mellow about stuff and the functional neurotypical people are crawling up the fucking walls"

—

"Basically, all of my therapy clients with regular anxiety are freaking the fuck out, but all my clients with trauma anxiety are like [shrugging emoji]."

#Spring2020AutisticLockdown

That's why those who are not alarmed are *angry* with those who are.

they think we're claiming intelligentsia status. Since neurotypical attention is socially regulated, the ability to focus on something others don't care about can be seen as a cognitive parlour trick.

But we're just applying Pascal's Wager to pandemics.

#Spring2020AutisticLockdown

They’re inflexible in their routines, have a need for sameness, get upset by change, struggle to observe personal boundaries and show a lack of empathy.

I’m not talking about autistics like me, but the people who are refusing to take COVID19 seriously.

—

Being worried about a thing your peers aren't worried about yet is one of the boldest power moves in the neurotypical playbook. High risk (leaving the pack) & high reward (hailed as a visionary if right).

(cont.)

#Spring2020AutisticLockdown

"the world: nnNNOOOOoooooooooo all joy is gone now that the world has turned into a stressful and uncertain place where im forced to act in a way that doesn't align with my sense of selllllfffffff

me: haha adhd coping-mechanisms go brrrrr"

—

"Extroverts are now forced to behave like introverts. That's a lesson. Hopefully it will stick."

#Spring2020AutisticLockdown