@breadandcircuses

On the last arctic schooner, becalmed.

The First Mate says:
-Look Captain,smoke!

I flip the speaker tube,bellow:
+Engine room, what are we burning?
:Floorboards sir
+From where?
:Deck 4 sir

My beard ice, tinkling.

:We have lots of decks sir.

Sigh.

:The passengers have cold feet
+Fine. Burn 'em all.

https://clover.serveblog.net/w0dz/cold-feet

#prose #climateChange #degrowth #justStopOil #fossilFuels #stopBurning #ipcc #climate #climateCrisis

Fake but real climate news.

In Breaking News that could of been from the BBC;

An elderly man from Whitehaven, Cumbria, in England - has just said that the UK's governments plans to open a coal pit in the area are, to quote "A brilliant idea!".

When asked why? the man said "he remembers the good old days when he was younger & in better health - when there were many coal pits in the area".

The mans elderly wife abruptly interrupted her husband so as to explain - that the scientists claims about the "mega death" being caused by climate change, was "a bit scary, but rubbish!". Also "she hasn't seen lots of animals dying in the town of Whitehaven & she's lived there all her life".

The elderly lady said "she had spoken to the local Whitehaven politicians and they had reassured her that the weather changes all the time anyway". The elderly husband confirmed this by nodding his head in agreement.

The husband then got a few words in and said - that the local politicians had said "what are those scientists going on about!" and "they don't know everything" and "they can't even get the weather forecasts totally right anyway".

When asked about the increasing amount of flooding in Cumbria, the elderly couples son who works as a vehicle tyre fitter said "one hundred year floods are normal & nothing to worry about!".

The BBC interviewed the Governments Conservative environment minister - who backed up the local families claims and added "burning that coal won't effect the climate because of the governments plans to reduce greenhouse gas emissions".

A coal mining industry spokesperson also said, to quote "the coal pit will bring much needed jobs to the area. And that the local people already burn coal to heat their homes - so we could even sell the coal to them. But, we don't talk about that so don't ask me about that!"

#satire #joke #BBC #LocalNews #fake&real #news #climate #ignorance #coalmine #jobs #money #business #industry #politics #politicians

#science #ClimateHeating #ClimateChange #MegaDeath #nature #wildlife #extinction

#ClimateAction #RenewableEnergy #rewilding #JustStopOil #StopBurning #CleanAir #InsulateBritain

Fake but real climate news.

In Breaking News that could of been from the BBC;

An elderly man from Whitehaven, Cumbria, in England - has just said that the UK's governments plans to open a coal pit in the area are, to quote "A brilliant idea!".

When asked why? the man said "he remembers the good old days when he was younger & in better health - when there were many coal pits in the area".

The mans elderly wife abruptly interrupted her husband so as to explain - that the scientists claims about the "mega death" being caused by climate change, was "a bit scary, but rubbish!". Also "she hasn't seen lots of animals dying in the town of Whitehaven & she's lived there all her life".

The elderly lady said "she had spoken to the local Whitehaven politicians and they had reassured her that the weather changes all the time anyway". The elderly husband confirmed this by nodding his head in agreement.

The husband then got a few words in and said - that the local politicians had said "what are those scientists going on about!" and "they don't know everything" and "they can't even get the weather forecasts totally right anyway".

When asked about the increasing amount of flooding in Cumbria, the elderly couples son who works as a vehicle tyre fitter said "one hundred year floods are normal & nothing to worry about!".

The BBC interviewed the Governments Conservative environment minister - who backed up the local families claims and added "burning that coal won't effect the climate because of the governments plans to reduce greenhouse gas emissions".

A coal mining industry spokesperson also said, to quote "the coal pit will bring much needed jobs to the area. And that the local people already burn coal to heat their homes - so we could even sell the coal to them. But, we don't talk about that so don't ask me about that!"

#satire #joke #BBC #LocalNews #fake&real #news #climate #ignorance #coalmine #jobs #money #business #industry #politics #politicians

#science #ClimateHeating #ClimateChange #MegaDeath #nature #wildlife #extinction

#ClimateAction #RenewableEnergy #rewilding #JustStopOil #StopBurning #CleanAir #InsulateBritain