The young woman vampire who just gangpressed me into a waltz, just asked me "Hey Jonas, do you know how much blood there is in a church mouse?"
Jonas paused, and had a moment of internal "haha, I'm in danger!", and says "No, how much blood IS there in a church mouse?"
Vera gives a huge grin and leans in to whisper... "Not enough!"

#StrahdOnTheRange #uhoh

the vampire Baron just asked the catholic nun/demon hunter "how do you deal with evil?"
"I deal with evil VIOLENTLY, and kill it in the name of the lord!"
the MOST Sister Constance answer, ever.
#StrahdOnTheRange

"roll gamble to attempt to escape the meat tunnel!"

note: do not wander in the vampire lord's basement, unless you're ready to find yourself in a tunnel with an evil god inside it. Deacon Sawyer has fucked around, and is finding out.

#StrahdOnTheRange

describing Escher to the group "whether or not you are hungry, this is a tasty snack!" :snicker:😂 #StrahdOnTheRange

...did I mention we were in the house of the local vamp? Snack or snack... >.< #StrahdOnTheRange

They just drifted up, told me to stroke the decorations in the entry hall, and then traced their fingers across his chest, before even introducing themselves. He teeters on the edge between turned on, and "wayyy too strong, buddy, how about you take me to dinner first!" #StrahdOnTheRange

Jonas is getting hit on HARD by the Very Elegant Person who just met them at the Governor's manor... He hasn't felt this flustered in quite awhile! :blush: #StrahdOnTheRange

...and now The Witcher is canon, in this Alternate US History #StrahdOnTheRange game :D

"swamp loogie" is a phrase that just got used :sob: #StrahdOnTheRange

I blew myself up in cowboy vampire game, and my shootin' hand got smashed to a pulp by debris... I'm out cold, and my murder aunts are VERY upset about it... o.O the Deacon is trying to call upon her god (the Real One, she says), and pull a miracle out of her hat #StrahdOnTheRange

surprise, new centipede friend appeared while we ambush a suspiciously easy to attack vulture! It has explosive rocks embedded in it! >.< #thisIsFine #StrahdOnTheRange

all 4 of us failed our rolls, and the DM goes "that's DELIGHTFUL!" #doom #StrahdOnTheRange

"whats your marching order?"
"well, the murder Aunts tend to sandwich Jonas between them..."
"yes, we have discussed the Jonas Sandwich before..."
me as Jonas: <blush>
#StrahdOnTheRange

a blind old lady just gave me a free dream pastry. I'm sure NOTHING bad can come of this. #StrahdOnTheRange

"Deacon Sawyer is still flat on her back, making snow-angels in the pile of bones" - Someone had a run-in with gravity #StrahdOnTheRange

"it'll take longer, but there'll be less chance of theological conflict" -- the DM explaining how our... ""clerics"" skills may conflict. #StrahdOnTheRange

oh god, we just found a fort full of zombies, that my DM has described as "You know Soul Calibur? and the character Voldo?" Instant visceral cringe! #StrahdOnTheRange

"I pull out the DSM (Demon Stratification Manual) Third Edition... to look up Sister Constance's demon quarry" Deacon Sawyer, trying to "help" Sister Constance with her hunt. #StrahdOnTheRange

"Whatever words you can think to do to a potato? they did to a person." -- Sister Constance, describing the demon she's persuing #strahdOnTheRange

"I exploded a well with god's power, and English god's help!" -- Wren re: last game session #strahdOnTheRange