Gotye-themed #StupidCatSongs

But you didn’t have to scratch me up
Make out like you haven’t eaten and that you have nothing
And I don’t even need your fluff
But you bite me when I groom you and it feels so rough
No, you didn’t have to poo so low
Have your friends collect your nuggets and then change your litter
Guess that I don’t need that, though
Now you’re just some puffy cat I used to know

(Graham’s verse)

Miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow mi-aowww

A cat food bowl that holds a thousand kibbles
A food machine that’s timed to dispense nibbles
A raking claw that stings
These mewlish things
Remiaow’nd me of you

#StupidCatSongs #JazzStandards

New Nelly Fur-tado song just dropped:

I’m like a cat
I only miaow away
I don’t know where my food is
Where my litter tray is

#StupidCatSongs

🎶You’re the cat inside my house
You’re my Grahamspiration
You bring fur into my house
You’re my Grahamspiration
Wanna have you near me
As long as you don’t scratch me, Grahamy
No one needs food more than you need food🎶

#StupidCatSongs #Grahamstodon #SoftRock #SoftFur #Chicago

One of my favourite #StupidCatSongs is called ‘Makin’ A Miaowin’ Noise’

There’s nothing to it except the title phrase which I find so pure in its stupidity

They’re pufficle cats
Ate-enoughicle cats
Scratchicle cats
Spider-catchicle cats
They’re patticle cats
Fur-is-matticle cats
Ow-he-bitticle cats
Bathroom shitticle cats

look sorry, this one just depresses me as it reminds me of that terrible Cats movie from a few years ago. What the fuck was wrong with TS Eliot

#StupidCatSongs #StupidCatMusicals

(Sade voice)

City cat, silky fur
His owner swears there’s hair everywhere
Especially on her
Miaow at four, dinner at five
Then he demands more tasty viands
To stay alive

No place for a groomer or clipper of claws
No poo in the litter, he’ll poo on the – floors

No need to brush

He’s a smooth pufferator
(🎷miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow)
Smooth pufferator
Smooth pufferator
(🎷miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow)
Smooth pufferator!

#StupidCatSongs

(James Murphy toneless shouting)

Puff cat is Grahamy at my house, my house!
He’ll poo on the floor
Shit, poo on the floor!

#StupidCatSongs

(Kurtis Blow voice)

Clap your hands, puffy Grahamy
If you got what it takes
But I don’t think you do
You ain’t got no hands
Cos you – are – a cat!

#StupidCatSongs

Can I pat it? (Yes you can!)
Can I pat it? (Yes you can!)

#StupidCatSongs #ATribeCalledCats

These #StupidCatSongs are getting out of control: I just found myself attempting to make up ‘Miaowtownphilly’ by Cats II Men

When a catty’s claw is long
You must clip it
When a scratching comes along
You must clip it
When he scratches something wrong
You must clip it

Now clip it!
Into shape
Trim it down
Get blunt
Go for it
And your cat
Tries to escape it
It’s not too late
To clip it!
Clip it good!

#StupidCatSongs

Me, tenderly, to #Grahamstodon: “You’re my love! You’re my sweetest thing!”

hmmm, why does that sound familiar?

(Mew, purr) just a little cat
(Mew, purr) a little cat more!

#StupidCatSongs

https://youtu.be/KiLw45oAuD0

I don’t wanna hear any more from you, Graham
You yelled at me all night
I could not sleep
I don’t wanna hear any more from you, Graham
Will it be food or will it be… sorry?

#StupidCatSongs #Grahamstodon #GrahamsCreek #IDontWannaWait

Woke up with 'Grahamadu' in my head again. Poisoning my brain with my own #StupidCatSongs

A cat
Is lying upon the bed
I pat him upon the head
They call him Grahamadu
The fur
Is fluffy and soft to pat
I cut out all of the mats
When grooming Grahamadu

The miaow so demanding
He wants his food; that would be good
An everlasting bowl
And he pesters me, eternally

Grahamadu
Grahamadu (now he is here)
He’s Grahamadu
Grahamadu, your miaow wakes me up
For food, Grahamadu

#StupidCatSongs #Grahamstodon #Xanadu

One of my go-to #StupidCatSongs is basically about consent. It goes:

Can I cuddle ya?
Can I cuddle my cat?
(Repeat endlessly)