Doorbell rings. I open.

Stranger: hi, I need to check your attic.

Me (remembering a recent string of arsons in town): oh, you must be the arsonist!

Stranger (in sarcastic voice): yeah, sure. And if you have white condiments in your fridge, I'll kill you!

Me, relieved: haha, good one 👍. Come right in I'll show you the way!!

#mattwalsh #maxfrisch #thearsonists #theocraticfascists