I was on 2mg Estradiol pills for a bit over a month and I had a blood test that showed my levels were very good! Estradiol at 363 pmo/L (very close to 100 pg/mL) and T within the normal female range (I was taking low-dose CPA).

However, my liver wasn't happy so my doctor switched me to, safer, Sandrena gel sachets. I was originally instructed to take half a 1mg sachet every 2 days, but the pharmacist said that was weird and got confirmation that I can take a whole 1mg every 2 days instead.

I later looked online and got conflicting information about equivalent doses for different deliver-E methods. Generally, I think 1mg gel sachet is said to be roughly equivalent to a 2mg pill, but it can vary, and a wiki quote suggests you'd need 3mg to be as effective as a 2mg pill: "Topical estradiol gel at a dosage of 3 mg/day has been reported to be equipotent with 2 mg oral estradiol in terms of therapeutic effects and FSH suppression, as well as to produce similar estradiol levels."

I also found a UK site that specifically listed timing for blood tests, saying it should happen 4-6 hours after taking a pill or applying gel.

A helpful wikipedia page (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pharmacokinetics_of_estradiol) has colourful graphs showing E levels over days/hours after taking it via various routes.

I had my most recent test a bit less than two hours after taking a pill. This may have artificially inflated my level a bit so the 2mg may not have been a sufficient dose for me, but it's difficult to tell because I'm confused by the graphs (or distracted by the colours).

My main concern is that the gel dosage and frequency I am currently taking is not enough, and I just don't know when I should take my blood test for helpful science reasons. If I take it 4-6 hours after application, it'll look high. If I take it 24 hours after (on my off day) it will be very low. (Graphs suggest that levels could be quite low after that time?)

I haven't felt much of anything in the past three weeks on a low dose of gel and I want to make sure I'm working toward a good, consistent level ASAP.

I read somewhere that it's always ethical to manipulate your blood test results if that will help you get the prescription results you want, but I do want to be open with my doctor (I have autism) about my concerns and wanting a higher dose and how I am testing.

I just don't know how long after a once-every-two-days gel application I should get a blood test if I want the data to be useful in my next appointment.

Does anyone with experience with gel and/or HRT blood tests have suggestions?!

(It would be so much easier if patches, with their gradual release and consistent levels over multiple days, weren't in such short supply right now!)

#HRT #Transgender #Trans #Gel #TheminisingHormoneTherapy #GenderFluid #TransMissionFluid

"My style is an intentional mix of things, made to be confusing."

This is how my long document from February started, thinking through the pros and cons of going on #HRT. I'm #NonBinary and I feel uncomfortable thinking people perceive me as a man, so I do a lot to mess with that to feel better about being in public space.

"I'm a non-binary, agender person striving to be a local cryptid."

I could be gender confusing through clothes, but I had often thought about changing my body with hormones, and (limited) surgery and how interesting it could be to biohack my perceived gender.

I knew a lot of people on HRT and I worried that there was an element of not being as cool as them without it, but I don't think this was the case. I would daydream about being in a 'last person on earth' scenario and how I would raid pharmacies so I could alter my body's hormone profile and try it out without having to deal with what other people thought about it. (Just regular person thoughts.)

I also had a lot of chaotic energy around the thought: "You only have one chance in this life to mess with your body as much as possible so take it!"

My biggest fear was breast growth. It's an obvious physical characteristic that can out me, make me unsafe, and I thought it wasn't necessarily something I was aiming for. I thought "if it was something I could switch on and off that would be great", which tells me there was actually a desire, just being held back by fear.

Early on I summarised my HRT goals as wanting "to look, and feel, softer". I also specifically wanted to stop losing more hair, experience emotional expansion, and have softer skin, if possible.

Extremely quickly on HRT (even just on blockers) I got all this. And I want to take it further by upping my dose slightly, and like before I'm casually thinking about more long-term solutions like an orchi (if it wasn't so expensive) and getting E via an implant.

It's complicated in my head right now because there is a strong feeling that things aren't moving fast enough (it's a current hyperfocus and I'm impatient) but also I know I should be thinking about this all more rationally than "I like it when the numbers go up".

Over the past few months I've definitely come to terms with the idea that I am actually looking forward to (at least minimal) breast growth. I look forward to wearing bralettes with open shirts in summer! I like the aesthetic, but also what it means socially, and how it affects my reception by others.

I think what I'm trying to say is that I definitely want to keep going, but I recognise my tendency to obsess over numbers and take things further for the sake of it, losing sight of the meaning. I need to make sure I'm conscious of this.

#TheminisingHormoneTherapy, for me, is a lot more than simply getting good numbers and obsessing over my blood test results.

It's helping me express how i feel inside a bit more clearly to others. It's art.

The good news from my recent blood test is that my T levels are tiny (0.2 nmol/L Testosterone and 2 pmol/L Free T) and my Oestradiol levels (363 pmol/L) are already in the low end of the target(?) range.

This is after 6 weeks on 2mg daily estradiol, and gradually decreasing CPA.

However! There is the possibility that estradiol pills can be bad for your liver and my enzyme levels did not look happy, so my GP switched my ~deliver-E~ method. I'm going to try gel sachets for a month and see how they go.

They're more expensive, less convenient and I'm also on a lower equivalent dose (from what I can determine online), but I'm choosing to see this as a fun thing to try and not be impatient about getting a higher dose and thinking how this is delaying me from discovering the perfect, stable, long-term solution.

I'm already in a good place. The science is important.

#HRT #TheminisingHormoneTherapy

I’ve had a lot of issues with my body over the years but I’m finally in a place where, generally, I’m highly accepting of my physical features. I’m really proud of this. My hair is really the one place I still struggle.

My hair is weird. I’ve been losing it for a while and I didn’t want to shave it all off because of dysphoria. I wear it in an odd way. I wouldn’t say badly, but I’m autistic and I can’t quite tell if it’s weird or acceptable to others. The front is the important part to get right but it involves intricate placement of hair and I have limited resources where I need them for structural integrity. Some days I feel I’ve been able to style it great and I look amazing, while others I spend a lot of time playing with it in the hopes it will behave how I want it to and feel self-conscious the whole day.

Going fancy places to dance is difficult because if I get hot and start sweating my perfectly constructed styling can suddenly fall apart!

The high possibility of stopping hair loss is one of the things that made #HRT tempting. Like, I know there are other ways to go about that without changing your body’s hormone profile, but that was certainly a factor in the perceived urgency of starting #TheminisingHormoneTherapy.

I did some research and found there was a chance of growing back some of the hair I had lost. Essentially, having Testosterone low to block DHT and Estrogen high to promote regrowth, both in the normal female ranges, should be sufficient to make whatever difference was possible for me. Still, I absolutely didn’t want to get my hopes up.

After a short while on CPA, I found that very little of my hair was getting caught in the shower drain and hair brush. I was really happy with this, as it seemed possible that with lowered testosterone my hair loss at least might not get worse.

The really unexpected part was that about a week ago I looked at my hairline and noticed that I already have a whole bunch of new hairs growing where I previously had none. (It was only after 6 weeks on E.) They’re fairly thin, all roughly the same length, but noticeably new and covering a significant area near my receding hairline. (I took a lot of body photos before starting taking estradiol so I have something to compare it with.)

I don’t know where this is going to go. Maybe they won’t grow long, or maybe they’ll stay very thin and be essentially invisible. Maybe they’ll at least be able to add some more structure for styling.

I think I’m less excited in a hopeful way and more in a ‘this is some cool science I get to see my body do’ way. I like to see this as a good sign that I've accepted what I've got to work with and I'm just happy to go along for the ride.

#TheminisingHormoneTherapy continues to go well. I have an appointment with my GP this week to discuss my levels and dosage.

It has been just over 6 weeks since starting E. The two most remarkable changes have been a) my chest continues to feel (and to an extent, look) different and b) crying.

I have very high work anxiety at the moment, which may have been a contributing factor, but one day I was making dinner and a song came on and the words were both happy and sad and it made me cry.

... for about two and a half hours, during which time the tiniest thought would set me off again.

I enjoyed the crying, but it was certainly unexpected in its extremity.

I'm realising that there is still a place for music in my life, and that it is no longer a matter of focusing on complicated instrumentation as a method of soothing my brain; I can listen to words and let their meaning spark emotions so I can feel something.

How much of this is entirely new is hard to tell. I'll have to conduct more science ("cry-ence"?) and report back.

Yesterday (the non-binary day) marked 4 weeks on 2mg daily estradiol. Here are some quick updates on my #TheminisingHormoneTherapy

I changed my name at work. A work friend suggested it and I was all, 'yeah, that sounds like it could be good actually'. I only know of one person misgendering me since, and they apparently made assumptions and used 'she'. I think this is great and funny.

I decided to change my name and sex marker on my birth certificate (in a few months - I have the documents almost ready to submit). Then work to update my name and gender on every other document and place over the course of the rest of my life.

I cried! Seems like it's possible in general now, and not just because it was early in the day and my ADHD meds lost their effectiveness. It's not uncontrollable or anything, just when very intense things are happening. I'll see how this goes.

Since taking ADHD meds I've largely lost interest in music, as in I'm no longer in need of the dopamine hit that comes from focusing intently on creative instrumentation. I'm considering the possibility that I'm becoming more interested in lyrics as an emotional source of meaning. Perhaps this has nothing to do with the #HRT. It's something I'll be monitoring for a bit.

I'm using pronouns for other people lately? (I never used to use pronouns in sentences because of agender stubbornness?) This is very unexpected and I don't know what to attribute it to. Might write about it later.

Related: I may now be leaning more toward they/them than 'no pronouns'.

For the past week or so I've noticed the early stages of 'budding' - my nipples feel like they have slight bruises behind them. It's not bad, and I think I do like experiencing a physical indicator that the estradiol is doing its thing.

One of my favourite parts of the day is showering and putting facewash on my hands and rubbing it in and suddenly remembering how smooth my skin feels. This happened pretty quickly just from blockers, but it is worth repeating because it's an unexpected and strong source of #TransJoy.

I have become obsessed with the idea of making lace bralettes, partly because I have an underwear dance party coming up and I can't seem to go to a dance party without making part of my outfit.

There are three more weeks until my next GP appointment where we discuss my levels and likely increase my dosage.

Generally, I feel great. Being medicated for ADHD is definitely assisting any social anxiety I may have otherwise had about things and I am not experiencing anything negative from HRT. I mean, one major effect from the T blockers is that my sex drive is extremely low and some physical things may be more difficult, but this is fine and something I expected. I may not write about this much because I'm still a bit shy about sex-related stuff.

That's all I can really think of right now, which is good because I've just about reached the character limi

Today I saw my GP to discuss my blood test results and start stage two of #TheminisingHormoneTherapy.

After 28 days just on 12.5mg CPL, my T levels are already reduced right down to the normal female range. I didn't expect it to be that successful so quick - I had read a 50% - 70% reduction is normal, but my Free T reduced by 96%!

Going forward, I'm halving my CPA intake, and taking 2mg estradiol once in the morning. We'll see how that goes and likely increase the E in a month.

I popped my first E this morning while standing in the sun, waiting for a train. It tasted sweet, like victory.

#HRT #TransJoy

Four weeks into stage one of my #TheminisingHormoneTherapy (just taking 12.5mg CPA once a day) and I've been surprised at just how good one of the changes has made me feel.

I used to have major problems with oil and acne on my face, particularly my scalp which felt rough and bumpy. But now it all just feels so smooth! I keep catching myself touching it to appreciate the texture and difference.

The Gender Dysphoria Bible explains this change:

"The removal of testosterone also causes a severe drop in skin oils, particularly in the face and scalp. This results in a significant reduction of acne and/or dandruff."

While there are things I don't/didn't love about my body, I never have dysphoria about it. But it will be interesting to see just how many changes give me a sense of euphoria.

I am very much looking forward to my GP appointment tomorrow where we start on stage two!

https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en/second-puberty-fem

#TransJoy #HRT