When my daughter was young and trying understand her heritage, she used to tell people she half Mexican, half-Gibberish.

#ThingsKidsSay

‘The people who made this toilet paper are mean!’ -my 7yo son while using a public restroom

#Parenting #Parents #ThingsKidsSay

Upon learning that Beethoven was born in the 18th century my 8yo asked if he was a #Boomer 💀🤣 #kids #ThingsKidsSay

Niece: Why do you like sharks?
2 y.o. Great nephew: Cos they're scary... and they're not here.
#thingskidssay #childwisdom

Me: “Get your feet off my seat.”

3: “That’s daddy’s seat.”

Me: “It’s my car. They’re all my seat.”
#parenting #thingskidssay

Asked my 5y/o “If you were in a talent show, what song would you sing?”

She said “$3.99, A&W Song” 🤡☠️

https://youtu.be/jpOjOiqGgaI

And this is why we’re fat

LOOOOL

#parenting #adulting #dadlife #thingskidssay

“Wow Dada, you’ve got HUGE nose holes…”
- my 8 y/o

#parenthood #thingskidssay

#metal #tattoo #thingskidssay

My nephew was looking closer at my fresh tattoo.
I told him don't look too close it's peeling amd kind of gross right now.

He said it's more metal that way 🤷🏻‍♀️

Agreed kid, agree

“I hope my nose doesn’t throw up again…”
- my 8 y/o
#thingskidssay

*talking about hauntings and curses*

<7yo> "I need to get my Holy Jesus Stick!"
<Me> "Your what?!?"
<7yo> "You know… the thing with Jesus…" *makes sign of a cross*
<Me> "I just… ummm… I mean... you’re not wrong, but…" *[Parent 404]*

#Parenting #Kids #ThingsKidsSay #HolyJesusStick

Tonight’s happy meal toys were super Mario themed. Mr4 makes his, and works out how they work. I come back after a minute or two of cleaning and he tells me that he’s made a movie (really it’s an improvised puppet show, but whatever, I’m not, like, a drama teacher or anything) and he’s called it…

The Death of Theatre

I can’t wait to teach him about Theatre of Cruelty and Theatre of the Oppressed.

#CherishedMemories #ThingsKidsSay #Quotes

Posted this on Christmas day, but I'm a #mastonoob and set it as private, so trying again:

2nd grade nephew came downstairs to find the cookie half-eaten by Santa. He announced to his parents that he wanted to eat the other half so he could "have Santa's DNA inside me." 😂 #GalaxyBrain #ThingsKidsSay #ChristmasCookies #Santa

“That’s alright, Name, soon you’ll be meeting a special, special, friend.” - Mr4 to Mr1 (with insidious undertones)
#ThingsKidsSay #AmIRaisingASupervillain #Parentlife
#CherishedMemories
#Quotes

RT @stefanienorlin@twitter

If you’re a parent (or have nieces, nephews or other close little people in your life), what’s the funniest “mean” name they’ve called you?

I’ll start: “Silly little meatball”

#momlife #funny #reallife #parenting #ParentingDoneRight #girlmom #familyfun #lol #thingskidssay #kidquotes #funnykid

I was forced to leave the room because while my wife was arguing with our 4 yr old about hair care after bath time, she demanded the kid give her something she was holding on to and the kid yells, "No! Pay money for this!"

😂 🤣 😂 🤣 😂 🤣 😂 🤣
#parenting #kids #4yearold #kidcommentary #thingskidssay

#thingskidssay 3 year old sees a Vietnam veteran with an eye patch and shouts ‘it’s a pirate’. I put my head down and quickly exited the area

Save some if you want to dip them in gravy tomorrow.
My 6-year old: I'll save some for the graveyard.
#joke #thanksgiving #rolls #thingskidssay #kids

12yo: Mom, you're pretty enough to be a regeneration of the Doctor!

No offense to Peter, Matt, David, or Chris - but I hope she was referring to Jodie. 😂

Have kids, stay humble. #DoctorWho #ThingsKidsSay #Parenting #whovians #geekstuff

#dadlife #thingskidssay
Conversation between two of my daughters.
E: is this your toothpaste?
F: yes, but you can use it.
E: can you do it on my toothbrush? I put too much.
F: why do you do too much?
E: cause I'm a little... I'm a medium girl.

Parked behind two minivans, engines running, exhaust spewing...

Munchkins: Mama, are the vans farting?

#thingskidssay