“How long do I have to do these stupid affirmation exercises?”
“How often do I have to meditate?”

Do you find yourself asking yourself (or a guide, or mentor, or friend) these kinds of questions? Do you get frustrated with not getting results as quickly as you want? I can relate. Many of the things I’ve done for my own growth have taken far longer to bear fruit than I thought they should. But, the results will come. Read on:

https://brendontowlecoaching.com/2023/04/18/the-power-of-repetition/

Do you keep trying various practices for personal growth, but can’t manage to stick to any of them? If you’d like to have some help sticking to it this time, feel free to book a consultation call with me to talk about how!

#repetition #repetitionispower #selftalk #confidence #selfconfidence #intentionalliving #personalpower #personalresponsibility #ownyoursuccess #mindsetshift #progressnotperfection #intentionalgrowth #mindshift #thinkingtraps #mentalfitness #mentalwellness #dothework #professionalcoach #successmindset #mindsetcoaching

Since most of us judge ourselves by other people’s personas, and since most people put on a confident show most of the time, it’s easy to think that being certain and confident is a requirement. It’s not. Being human comes with having doubts, or being unsure, or wondering what our place really is.

As I embrace my humanity and let go of the need to be perfect, I get to be more comfortable showing up in the world. I also become more effective, because I’m not fighting against my own mind as much. If you have doubts, that’s okay. And, if you’re struggling with your doubts, feel free to reach out for a free consult to see how I can help.

What’s your favorite way to remember that it’s okay to be human? Let me know!

#limitingbeliefs #stuckinthinking #ownyourattitude #ownyourlife #mindshift #selfawareness #thinkingtraps #personalresponsibility #mentalfitness #emotionalhealth #emotionalfitness #stressmanagement #professionalcoach #successmindset #mindsetcoaching #okaytodoubt #okaytobeunsure

ICYMI:

“I’m not smart enough to get into that school.”
“I’m not dedicated enough to be an entrepreneur.”
“I’m not good-looking enough to go out with him.”

Does the belief pattern of “I’m not X enough” sound familiar to you too? I spent decades mired in those sorts of beliefs, so I’m pretty familiar with them myself. But, I’m not there anymore, and haven’t been in a very long time. Read on for how I got here from there:

https://brendontowlecoaching.com/2023/04/11/im-not-enough-a-personal-story-of-limiting-beliefs/

Do you have limiting beliefs that keep you stuck? If you’d also like a way out, feel free to book a consultation call with me to talk about how!

#limitingbeliefs #discardinglimitingbeliefs #selftalk #confidence #selfconfidence #intentionalliving #personalpower #embraceyourself #personalresponsibility #ownyoursuccess #mindsetshift #takeyourcredit #progressnotperfection #intentionalgrowth #mindshift #thinkingtraps #mentalfitness #mentalwellness #dothework #professionalcoach #successmindset #mindsetcoaching

“I’m not smart enough to get into that school.”
“I’m not dedicated enough to be an entrepreneur.”
“I’m not good-looking enough to go out with him.”

Does all that sound familiar? I spent decades mired in those sorts of beliefs, so I’m pretty familiar with them myself. But, I’m not there anymore, and haven’t been in a very long time. Read on for how I got here from there:

https://brendontowlecoaching.com/2023/04/11/im-not-enough-a-personal-story-of-limiting-beliefs/

Do you have limiting beliefs that keep you stuck? If you’d also like a way out, feel free to book a consultation call with me to talk about how!

#limitingbeliefs #discardinglimitingbeliefs #selftalk #confidence #selfconfidence #intentionalliving #personalpower #embraceyourself #personalresponsibility #ownyoursuccess #mindsetshift #takeyourcredit #progressnotperfection #intentionalgrowth #mindshift #thinkingtraps #mentalfitness #mentalwellness #dothework #professionalcoach #successmindset #mindsetcoaching

I’ve gotten much better at this, but there was a long period of time when I was too quick to insert myself in situations where I really didn’t belong. My intentions were almost always good, but I’d offer unsolicited advice, or try to problem-solve when compassion or empathy were more appropriate. Or, I’d try to be an active participant in a situation where I was really just a spectator.

Today, I find that I’m much calmer and serene as a result of keeping myself out of situations where I don’t belong. As a consequence, I’m much more able to be effective in the situations where I do belong.

How about you? What are your favorite strategies for remembering what is and isn’t an appropriate place for you to act? Let me know!

#limitingbeliefs #stuckinthinking #ownyourattitude #ownyourlife #mindshift #selfawareness #thinkingtraps #intentionalgrowth #personalresponsibility #mentalfitness #emotionalhealth #emotionalfitness #stressmanagement #professionalcoach #successmindset #mindsetcoaching

“I know you can’t see this clearly, so I need to make this decision for you.”

If that sounds familiar, and it’s not in the context of a parent-child relationship or a romance novel, it’s possible that a mindset shift could help you be calmer, happier, and more productive. Sound good? Read more:

https://brendontowlecoaching.com/2023/03/28/let-other-people-make-their-own-damn-decisions/

How do you remember that other people are their own decision-makers? Share in the comments!

#selftalk #confidence #selfconfidence #intentionalliving #personalpower #embraceyourself #personalresponsibility #success #ownyoursuccess #mindsetshift #takeyourcredit #progressnotperfection #intentionalgrowth #mindshift #thinkingtraps #mentalfitness #mentalwellness #dothework #professionalcoach #successmindset #mindsetcoaching

One of my favorite strategies for getting out of limiting beliefs or paranoid, unpleasant thinking is to ask myself “How do I know? What’s my evidence? Where’s my proof? How else could I explain this?” and then take the exercise seriously.

Almost every time I try that, I find that I don’t actually know. My head is just making things up, and not to my benefit. If I can seriously go through this exercise, it almost always seriously shifts my attitude.

How about you? What are your favorite strategies for getting out of limiting beliefs? Let me know!

#limitingbeliefs #stuckinthinking #ownyourattitude #mindshift #selfawareness #alwaysthinking #thinkingtraps #personalresponsibility #mentalfitness #emotionalhealth #emotionalfitness #stressmanagement #professionalcoach #successmindset #mindsetcoaching

“Oh, it was nothing.”
“I had a lot of help; Mary should really get the credit.”
“I just got lucky.”

Do these sound familiar? Many of us find it difficult to acknowledge when we’ve been successful, or accomplished something. Read on for some discussion of why it’s important to do it anyway:

https://brendontowlecoaching.com/2023/03/21/acknowledging-our-own-success/

What tricks do you have for acknowledging the things that you do right? How do you avoid minimizing your good qualities? Share in the comments!

#selftalk #confidence #selfconfidence #personalpower #embraceyourself #personalresponsibility #success #ownyoursuccess #takeyourcredit #progressnotperfection #intentionalgrowth #mindshift #thinkingtraps #mentalfitness #mentalwellness #dothework #professionalcoach #successmindset #mindsetcoaching

I was not raised in an emotionally fluent environment, and so spent a lot of time doing a whole variety of things to pretend that my feelings didn’t exist. One of my favorites was “This feeling doesn’t make sense, therefore I don’t feel it.”

It’s important for me to remember that even when my feelings don’t make sense, or aren’t what I want to feel, or aren’t what I think they should be, I still have them. I don’t have to act in any particular way just because I have a feeling, but I still do better if I can acknowledge what my feelings actually are.

How about you? What are your favorite strategies for acknowledging your feelings? Let me know in the comments!

#feelings #thinkingtraps #personalresponsibility #mentalfitness #emotionalhealth #emotionalfitness #selfawareness #stressmanagement #professionalcoach #successmindset #mindsetcoaching

This week I’m talking about our motives for doing the work. Although there’s definitely merit to the idea of doing the right thing for the right reasons, in my experience, doing the right thing for whatever reason is just as good. Read more here:

https://brendontowlecoaching.com/2023/03/14/the-weights-dont-care-why-you-lift-them/

Do you have experience with talking yourself out of something because your motives weren’t good enough? Or, do you have experience with talking yourself into something regardless of your motives? Share in the comments!

#selftalk #personalresponsibility #success #progressnotperfection #intentionalgrowth #humanity #mindshift #thinkingtraps #mentalfitness #mentalwellness #dothework #professionalcoach #successmindset #mindsetcoaching

It’s easy for me to fall into the trap of thinking that things will never change, or that I will never change. When I think about anything else, I know that’s crazy—things change all the time—but my mind seems to want to think that I’m an exception to the rule.

I’m not. I’m changing all the time, and I can choose to direct those changes in ways that are useful and productive (and fun!). And, this means that I’m not bound by my past limitations. If I’ve never previously been able to do something, I can still learn how to do it. If I’ve always made the same mistake, I can learn how to make new ones (or do something that isn’t a mistake).

How about you? What are your favorite strategies to remember that you’re still growing? Let me know in the comments!

#mindset #responsibility #personalresponsibility #ownyourlife #thinkingtraps #progressnotperfection #mentalfitness #mindshift #persistence #grit #intentionalgrowth #selfimprovement #professionalcoach #successmindset #mindsetcoaching

ICYMI, for the weekend crowd:

“I’ll be successful when I buy my first house.”
“I’ll be successful when I graduate from school.”
“I’ll be successful when I get married.”

Have you played this game before? In addition to being vulnerable to our tendency to move the goalposts, many of these definitions of success don’t actually correspond to what we think is valuable or meaningful. This week I’m talking about some alternate ways to define success:

https://brendontowlecoaching.com/2023/03/07/whats-your-definition-of-success/

What’s your experience with defining success? Share in the comments!

#selftalk #personalresponsibility #success #progressnotperfection #intentionalgrowth #humanity #mindshift #thinkingtraps #mentalfitness #mentalwellness #innerpeace #calm #professionalcoach #successmindset #mindsetcoaching

“When I buy my first house, I’ll be successful.”
“When I graduate from school, I’ll be successful.”
“When I get married, I’ll be successful.”

Have you also played this game before? In addition to being vulnerable to moving the goalposts, many of these definitions of success don’t actually correspond to what we think is valuable or meaningful. This week I’m talking about some alternate ways to define success:

https://brendontowlecoaching.com/2023/03/07/whats-your-definition-of-success/

What’s your experience with defining success? Share in the comments!

#selftalk #personalresponsibility #success #progressnotperfection #intentionalgrowth #humanity #mindshift #thinkingtraps #mentalfitness #mentalwellness #innerpeace #calm #professionalcoach #successmindset #mindsetcoaching

ICYMI, for the weekend crowd:

“If they would just do it differently, things would be so much better.”

Have you also played this game before? Do you often (or even occasionally) find yourself believing that you know what it is other people “should” be doing? Whatever it is that they’re doing now, I invite you to consider the idea that it might not be any of your business:

https://brendontowlecoaching.com/2023/02/28/other-people-have-a-higher-power-and-im-not-it/

What’s your experience with letting go of how other people are acting? Share in the comments!

#selftalk #personalresponsibility #lettinggo #emotionalhealth #healthyminds #progressnotperfection #intentionalgrowth #humanity #mindshift #thinkingtraps #mentalfitness #mentalwellness #innerpeace #calm #professionalcoach #successmindset #mindsetcoaching

“If they would just do it this way, things would be so much better.”

Have you also played this game before? Whatever it is that they’re doing, I invite you to consider the idea that it might not be any of your business:

https://brendontowlecoaching.com/2023/02/28/other-people-have-a-higher-power-and-im-not-it/

What’s your experience with letting go of how other people are acting? Share in the comments!

#selftalk #personalresponsibility #lettinggo #emotionalhealth #healthyminds #progressnotperfection #intentionalgrowth #humanity #mindshift #thinkingtraps #mentalfitness #mentalwellness #innerpeace #calm #professionalcoach #successmindset #mindsetcoaching

It’s easy for me to get frustrated with the situations around me—other drivers in particular, but anything really—without looking at my own part in creating that situation. If I’m leaving 5-10 minutes late, and getting frustrated with you for not driving fast enough to get out of my way (done this), whose responsibility is that really? And, if I leave a few minutes early, it doesn’t matter so much how fast you’re driving (done this too).

I’m never going to be able to control the people around me. I am, however, able to take responsibility for my own actions and their effects. If I can take the kind of actions that will result in the kind of life I want, everyone is happier.

How about you? What are your favorite strategies for remembering your own responsibility? Let me know in the comments!

#mindset #responsibility #personalresponsibility #ownyourlife #mentalfitness #mindshift #emotionalhealth #thinkingtraps #intentionalgrowth #professionalcoach #successmindset #mindsetcoaching

ICYMI, for the weekend crowd:

“If I can just do it perfectly, my boss will give me the good assignments.”
“If only I was better, people would like me more.”

Does this sound familiar? Whatever your situation might be, I’m pretty confident that perfectionism is not the answer. This week I’m talking about my experience with perfectionism, and some of the broken thinking behind it:

https://brendontowlecoaching.com/2023/02/21/the-perfectionism-trap/

What’s your experience with developing reasonable standards for yourself? Share in the comments!

#selftalk #perfectionism #youareenough #emotionalhealth #confidence #embraceyourself #healthyminds #acceptyourself #progressnotperfection #intentionalgrowth #humanity #mindshift #thinkingtraps #mentalfitness #mentalwellness #innerpeace #calm #professionalcoach #successmindset #mindsetcoaching

“If I can just do it perfectly, my parents will be proud of me.”
“If only I was better, people would like me more.”

Does this sound familiar? Whatever your problem is, I’m pretty confident that perfectionism is not the answer. Read on to hear about the reasons behind this:

https://brendontowlecoaching.com/2023/02/21/the-perfectionism-trap/

What’s your experience with developing reasonable standards for yourself? Share in the comments!

#selftalk #perfectionism #youareenough #emotionalhealth #confidence #embraceyourself #healthyminds #acceptyourself #progressnotperfection #intentionalgrowth #humanity #mindshift #thinkingtraps #mentalfitness #mentalwellness #innerpeace #calm #professionalcoach #successmindset #mindsetcoaching

If I forget the fact that what other people think of me is out of my control, it’s far too easy for me to spend an inordinate amount of energy trying to control it—and there’s nothing but tears down that road for me. I end up people-pleasing (which is really just a nice-sounding word for “manipulation” or “dishonesty”). If I can remember that, just like anything else you might think, it’s none of my business, it makes it easier for me to stay out of trying to control it.

When I stay focused on doing what I believe to be right and appropriate, and not trying to control your impressions of me, I end up more satisfied, more fulfilled—and often more liked and respected as well.

How about you? What are your favorite strategies for staying out of other peoples’ heads? Let me know in the comments!

#mindset #peoplepleasing #youareenough #mentalfitness #humanity #mindshift #emotionalhealth #thinkingtraps #intentionalgrowth #professionalcoach #successmindset #mindsetcoaching

Reposting for the weekend folks:

“Why can’t I have as many friends as she does?”
“I wish I got invited to as many places as he does.”
“Look at how eloquently she speaks! Why can’t I speak like that?”

If your self-talk is filled with comparisons like this, you’re probably doing yourself a disservice. I talk this week about the trap of comparing ourselves to others, and some of the strategies I’ve used to avoid falling into that trap:

https://brendontowlecoaching.com/2023/02/14/the-comparison-trap/

What’s your experience with avoiding comparisons? Share in the comments!

#selftalk #comparing #toxiccomparisons #youareenough #emotionalhealth #progressnotperfection #intentionalgrowth #humanity #mindshift #thinkingtraps #mentalfitness #mentalwellness #innerpeace #mindshift #calm #professionalcoach #successmindset #mindsetcoaching