I just realized something about my two WIP novels:

#ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy points out everything that's wrong with things as they are, while also hinting at what could be.

#TakeOnMe (what the hell, I'll do an unofficial title drop here for Mastodon pals only) paints a lovely picture of what could be, while also acknowledging things that are wrong.

I used to have a Twitter where I just kinda popped off all the time with thoughts that came to me during meditation, and I've been going through tough times recently, so I was browsing the archive just now in hopes of better reconnecting with myself. This was from 1/27/22:

"hold in one hand 'what is' (the perceived wrongness) and in the other 'what should be' (the perceived ideal) and wait as long as it takes for the third way to emerge"

I guess I, at least, really do need both.

#writing #WritingCommunity

Hey #WritingWonders gang, #WritingCommunity and other friends—thinking of you all and hoping you're well! 🙏

I've been hermiting extra hard lately because I've apparently developed long COVID as a result of my New Year's breakthrough infection (thankfully it's relatively mild, but still not fun), so I've been spending a lot of time deeply resting/recovering/processing, and haven't really been pushing myself to do even things I want to do—such as check in here or finish TWCAD—because, lately, pushing myself to do *anything* can sometimes have immediate unpleasant consequences in my body.

It's very day-by-day—good days and bad days, and I never quite know which I'm going to have—but after a late night emergency room visit showed no truly scary issues such as heart damage or blood clotting, I'm feeling optimistic for eventual recovery. Sometimes life demands you slow your roll to a stop, and for me this is definitely one of those times. By this point in my life I always tend to see potential in them. Adapting to physical limitations means having to soften up in new ways, and as a result I'm feeling closer to myself and to my partner of twelve years, which is really lovely. And been quietly shelving some old stories about myself and my life and gently trying on new ones for size.

One thing I did find the energy to do recently (I think it kinda cost me...but worth it) was create a pretty new book cover for #ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy, which you can check out below. 😊

Anyway, I might start poking my head back into the #WritingWonders hashtag soon—can't promise anything resembling consistency, but I do miss the prompts and responses and would love to jump in whenever I can. And I'm gently reapproaching TWCAD Part 3 as well, with an eye to my current need for pacing and self-care. Still kinda hoping Mabel and I can have the complete book out there for y'all this summer, but gonna try to go slow and steady and let it take the time it takes.

Anyway, thanks for reading and caring. It's nice to be able to wander off for a while and always come back to find this community still here. I'll continue updating, sharing, and checking in on y'all as I feel able. 💛

Been recently unwell and enjoying an extra-introverted/offline phase, but just popping by to say I'm still here, #ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy is still happening, and Cyrano's officially competing with Jules for my favorite character, for reasons that have only just now fully revealed themselves to me, and which will only become clear to readers with the third or fourth book.

I have no doubt Cyrano's going to be (or remain, for those who've already read all the way to the end of TWCAD Part 2) the most controversial character in the series and generate a lot of uncomfortable feelings and debates. His arc is primed to take some truly jaw-dropping twists and turns.

If he makes you especially uncomfortable, maybe consider—as I have, often—whether you see anything of yourself in him.

#TheNullweaverCycle

#writing #AmWriting #WritingCommunity #trans #transgender #QueerFantasy #LGBTQbooks @lgbtqbookstodon

https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/

Been recently unwell and enjoying an extra-introverted/offline phase, but just popping by to say I'm still here, #ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy is still happening, and Cyrano's officially competing with Jules for my favorite character, for reasons that have only just now fully revealed themselves to me, and which will only become clear to readers with the third or fourth book.

I have no doubt Cyrano's going to be (or remain, for those who've already read all the way to the end of TWCAD Part 2) the most controversial character in the series and generate a lot of uncomfortable feelings and debates. His arc is primed to take some truly jaw-dropping twists and turns.

If he makes you especially uncomfortable, maybe consider—as I have, often—whether you see anything of yourself in him.

#TheNullweaverCycle

#writing #AmWriting #WritingCommunity #trans #transgender #QueerFantasy #LGBTQbooks

https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/

(#QWriters Sunday line share)

In spite of this cleansing by fire, the voices of the dead babbled on. They were calmer now—the apostates’ ritual, Rory reckoned, had stirred them up into a frenzy—but their discontent lingered, palpable as a breath on his ear.

(From Ch. 11: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-eleven/ )

#ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy

#WritingCommunity #trans #transgender #LGBTQbooks @qwriters @lgbtqbookstodon @bookstodon

Still wrapping up Part 3 of #ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy, but visions of the sequel are already blooming in my mind.

I can't wait to introduce Jules's hero, the legendary alchemist Evander Lockwood, and dive with Rory into the rich polytheistic world of the Hermetic Order of Khmun.

#TheNullweaverCycle

https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/

#AmWriting #queerSFF #fantasy #AmWritingFantasy #UrbanFantasy #LGBTQbooks #trans #transgender #books

#WritingWonders 3/5! (Image CW: eye contact)

We'll stick with Hunter for antagonist questions. The answer is basically no, he does not have moral boundaries. The only authority in Hunter's world is his ego, the only value self-preservation. This value is, of course, inseparable from the patriarchal worldview that shaped him, so Hunter finds ambiguity, flexibility, and vulnerability—what we might call "feminine" traits—threatening, yet secretly fascinating. He denies these traits in himself and objectifies, persecutes, and/or tries to subjugate those who embody them in any noticeable measure, while recognizing on an unconscious level that they hold a power he doesn't understand.

Link to January's Hunter intro: https://writeout.ink/@emrys/109671387343219965

#ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy

Link to series: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/

#WritingCommunity #trans #transgender #LGTBQ #books #fiction #queerSFF

#WritingWonders 3/4! (Hands mic to Jules.)

JULES: This question assumes I, uh, have close friends. [A faint, wry smile; it quickly vanishes. He clears his throat.] I’m…very focused on my research. So socializing hasn’t been a priority for quite some time.

I…did have a kind of close friend, once. And I did envy him. For a lot of things. He was fiery. Alive…/too/ alive. Holding things inside is always safer, I think, but he could never do safe if he tried. He burned too hot—no, I definitely wouldn’t want to be him. I just…sometimes think it would be nice if my own impulses weren’t always smothered by about a million layers of second-guessing.

#ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy

https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/

#WritingCommunity #Writing #AmWriting #LGBTQ #trans #books

#WritingWonders 3/3!

The answer to this one is yes, big-time. Perhaps Jules's most notable physical feature is the alchemical tattoos that cover his left arm and parts of his right hand, which enable him to perform transmutations on the go—including in combat. 💥

He gives an action-packed demonstration in Chapter One: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-one/

#ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy

#WritingCommunity #writing #AmWriting #AmWritingFantasy #fantasy #UrbanFantasy #queerSFF

#WritingWonders Day 2! (Trying it out as a thread this time. ✨)

The short answer: It varies. Jules started out as a supporting character in the first draft of what later became #ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy, but soon stepped forward demanding to center his story. In some sense, it feels like he existed fully formed from the start and I always knew him, but he's definitely revealed many specifics to me in the process of writing.

#WritingCommunity #writing #AmWriting #queerSFF #fantasy

Happy March #WritingWonders, gang! 🙏✨ We're kicking it off with the softball questions, I see...

Since I'm still wrapping up Part 3, I'm back again this month with our queer epic switchblade-and-sorcery novel #ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy and, for today, its precocious young alchemist co-protagonist, Jules. (You can check out the complete Parts 1 & 2 here: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/ )

How is Jules *not* me, would be an easier question to answer. He's a prickly pear with a heavily guarded warm heart and a rarely seen or acknowledged effusive side, who escapes his trauma by trading in human realities for cosmic conceptualizations. He reaps the social rewards of high achievement (not so much me now, but me in grade school) and toxic self-sacrificing (also me until recent years), while continuing to feel vaguely but deeply unfulfilled in both his intimate and his inner life (once again, me till recently).

Jules lives as a mostly-out-and-visible trans man in a largely socially conservative magic wainscot society in the aughts—which has a range of social ramifications. I, by contrast, am usually taken for a cis woman (outside my inner circle) and (usually) let it slide. 🙃 But I think Jules and I both feel essentially genderless, while at the same time experiencing dysphoria, to no small extent, at times, with our "female" bodies, but more intensely and persistently with the social roles and perceptions traditionally associated with femaleness in our cultures of origin (although we're both also able and willing to lean on "feminine" expressions in limited circumstances, when it serves our purposes). Part 3 flashes back to trace the arc of Jules's gender experience from childhood, and, while his journey differs in many ways from mine, the book's climax finds us both in more or less the same place (albeit still using different pronouns... I seem to be more partial to "they," at least for now).

I could go on, but instead I'll just say that, aside from being (rather aspirationally) more organized and more accomplished, more action-oriented and more abrasive, Jules is about as "me" as any character I've ever written—though I wasn't at all aware of this when @dontdoitneil and I first started drafting TWCAD in 2016. Jules, I like to think, came along to help me see myself more clearly, at a time when I'd all but lost sight.

@emrys@sunny.garden

#WritingCommunity #transmasc #transgender #nonbinary #gender #LGBTQbooks #queerSFF

Happy March #WritingWonders, gang! 🙏✨ We're kicking it off with the softball questions, I see...

Since I'm still wrapping up Part 3, I'm back again this month with our queer epic switchblade-and-sorcery novel #ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy and, for today, its precocious young alchemist co-protagonist, Jules. (You can check out the complete Parts 1 & 2 here: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/ )

How is Jules *not* me, would be an easier question to answer. He's a prickly pear with a heavily guarded warm heart and a rarely seen or acknowledged effusive side, who escapes his trauma by trading in human realities for cosmic conceptualizations. He reaps the social rewards of high achievement (not so much me now, but me in grade school) and toxic self-sacrificing (also me until recent years), while continuing to feel vaguely but deeply unfulfilled in both his intimate and his inner life (once again, me till recently).

Jules lives as a mostly-out-and-visible trans man in a largely socially conservative magic wainscot society in the aughts—which has a range of social ramifications. I, by contrast, am usually taken for a cis woman (outside my inner circle) and (usually) let it slide. 🙃 But I think Jules and I both feel essentially genderless, while at the same time experiencing dysphoria, to no small extent, at times, with our "female" bodies, but more intensely and persistently with the social roles and perceptions traditionally associated with femaleness in our cultures of origin (although we're both also able and willing to lean on "feminine" expressions in limited circumstances, when it serves our purposes). Part 3 flashes back to trace the arc of Jules's gender experience from childhood, and, while his journey differs in many ways from mine, the book's climax finds us both in more or less the same place (albeit still using different pronouns... I seem to be more partial to "they," at least for now).

I could go on, but instead I'll just say that, aside from being (rather aspirationally) more organized and more accomplished, more action-oriented and more abrasive, Jules is about as "me" as any character I've ever written—though I wasn't at all aware of this when @dontdoitneil and I first started drafting TWCAD in 2016. Jules, I like to think, came along to help me see myself more clearly, at a time when I'd all but lost sight.

@emrys@sunny.garden

#WritingCommunity #transmasc #transgender #nonbinary #gender #LGBTQbooks #queerSFF

The Part Two finale reveals new hope for a once-doomed friendship, the Nihilites' under-city lair, Cyrano's long-delayed choice, and Hunter's dreadful secret power.

Read Chapter 47 online: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-forty-seven/

Start back at Chapter 1: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-one/

@dontdoitneil @emrys@sunny.garden

#ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy

#TransWriters #TransBooks #TransFiction #enby #nonbinary #NonbinaryWriters #fantasy #DarkFantasy #grimdark #SFF #SFFBookClub #SpeculativeFiction #queerSFF #UrbanFantasy #AmWriting #AmWritingSFF #AmWritingFantasy #LGBT #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #trans #transgender #transmasc #LGBTQwriters #LGBTQbooks #WritersOfMastodon #Bookstodon #QueerFiction #LGBTbooks #QueerFantasy #books @lgbtqbookstodon @bookstodon

In "The Number No Good Things Can Come Of," Jules intuits a vague forecast of doom, and, together with Caliban, visits the site of the grim ritual in which Max was conceived.

Read Chapter 46 online: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-forty-six/

Start back at Chapter 1: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-one/

@dontdoitneil @emrys@sunny.garden

#ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy

#TransWriters #TransBooks #TransFiction #enby #nonbinary #NonbinaryWriters #fantasy #DarkFantasy #grimdark #SFF #SFFBookClub #SpeculativeFiction #queerSFF #UrbanFantasy #AmWriting #AmWritingSFF #AmWritingFantasy #LGBT #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #trans #transgender #transmasc #LGBTQwriters #LGBTQbooks #WritersOfMastodon #Bookstodon #QueerFiction #LGBTbooks #QueerFantasy #books @lgbtqbookstodon @bookstodon

Hi TWCAD fans! Mabel and I are a bit behind getting Chapter 46 up, but it's coming later today. Stay tuned!

#ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy

In "That Girl Possessed," Rory tries breaking the bad news to Max on Jules's behalf, and it doesn't go well.

Read Chapter 45 online: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-forty-five/

Start back at Chapter 1: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-one/

@dontdoitneil @emrys@sunny.garden

#ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy

#TransWriters #TransBooks #TransFiction #enby #nonbinary #NonbinaryWriters #fantasy #DarkFantasy #grimdark #SFF #SFFBookClub #SpeculativeFiction #queerSFF #UrbanFantasy #AmWriting #AmWritingSFF #AmWritingFantasy #LGBT #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #trans #transgender #transmasc #LGBTQwriters #LGBTQbooks #WritersOfMastodon #Bookstodon #QueerFiction #LGBTbooks #QueerFantasy #books @lgbtqbookstodon @bookstodon

In "Headfirst for Halos," Elisha and Jules finally learn the true circumstances of Max's conception—and tragedy ensues.

Read Chapter 44 online: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-forty-four/

Start back at Chapter 1: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-one/

@dontdoitneil @emrys@sunny.garden

#ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy

#TransWriters #TransBooks #TransFiction #enby #nonbinary #NonbinaryWriters #fantasy #DarkFantasy #grimdark #SFF #SFFBookClub #SpeculativeFiction #queerSFF #UrbanFantasy #AmWriting #AmWritingSFF #AmWritingFantasy #LGBT #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #trans #transgender #transmasc #LGBTQwriters #LGBTQbooks #WritersOfMastodon #Bookstodon #QueerFiction #LGBTbooks #QueerFantasy #books @lgbtqbookstodon @bookstodon

(From Chapter 14 of
#ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy. Re: today's #MicroPrompt, "linger," courtesy of @crtaxon ✨)

“Before our world came into being, the Book of Cipher claims, there was another. A realm of darkness and void. It is said to linger on, a mere step out of phase with our own. Because we are creatures of the material realm, our senses were not made to detect it. Yet, in some intangible way, we perceive it—in the cracks between things. In lack and in loss. Beyond the boundaries of forms.”

https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-fourteen/

@dontdoitneil @emrys@sunny.garden

#AmWriting #WritingCommunity #horror #DarkFantasy #QueerFantasy #LGBTQ

#WritingWonders Day 31!

With the requisite disclaimers about arbitrary frameworks, limiting labels, etc., Jules is an introvert (INFJ specifically, if you're into MBTI, though he might be mistaken for a T at first due to repressing emotions/leaning on his analytical capacity), and Rory's an extrovert (ENFP).

Their typology may or may not reflect their creators'... 🤔

#ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy

https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/

@dontdoitneil @emrys@sunny.garden

#AmWriting #WritingCommunity #queer #LGBTQ #fantasy #fiction #books

In Chapter 43, "Burn No Bridges," Jules juggles a panicked Cyrano and a disoriented Max, in a situation that threatens to spin out of control.

Read Chapter 43 online: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-forty-three/

Start back at Chapter 1: https://readformandvoid.com/the-nullweaver-cycle/those-who-create-and-destroy/chapter-one/

@dontdoitneil @emrys@sunny.garden

#ThoseWhoCreateAndDestroy

#TransWriters #TransBooks #TransFiction #enby #nonbinary #NonbinaryWriters #fantasy #DarkFantasy #grimdark #SFF #SFFBookClub #SpeculativeFiction #queerSFF #UrbanFantasy #AmWriting #AmWritingSFF #AmWritingFantasy #LGBT #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #trans #transgender #transmasc #LGBTQwriters #LGBTQbooks #WritersOfMastodon #Bookstodon #QueerFiction #LGBTbooks #QueerFantasy #books @lgbtqbookstodon @bookstodon