GM: The dragon horde spreads out through the chamber. Chests of gems & coins, gold ornaments, fine quality weapons...
Todd: (Tabaxi Bard): I dash about shivering my butt against as much of it as I can.
Vouk (Barbarian): Is he...
Katharine (Ranger): Yup. Anal glands.
Todd: IT'S MINE! ALL MINE!
Vouk & Katharine (in unison): damn it, Todd!

#ttrpg #GamingHumour #ToddTheTabaxi

GM: The golden statue is clearly very valuable, but also extremely heavy.
Katharine (Ranger): No problem. Todd can put it in his Bag of Holding.
Todd (Tabaxi Bard): (sitting on a tree branch above the party) Can’t. Full.
Gotta put my toys somewhere. (Begins shaking out contents of the Bag)
GM: The party is buried in a mountain of cat toys.
Vouk (Barbarian): Where’s my Warhammer?
GM: Oh, yeah. Make a Dex save or take 1d6 damage as it drops on your head.

#ttrpg #GamingHumour #ToddTheTabaxi

GM: You reach into the magic bag to retrieve your warhammer, but instead of your weapon, you feel pain. You withdraw your arm to find it covered in bloody scratches.
Vouk (Barbarian): Damn it, Todd! Stop hiding in the Bag of Holding!
Todd (Tabaxi Bard): (clinging to the edges of the extra-dimensional portal with all four limbs) No. Can’t make me!

#ttrpg #GamingHumour #ToddTheTabaxi

GM: Vouk the Barbarian agrees to take the first watch, so the rest of you bed down for the night.
Todd (Tabaxi Bard): Where ever Katharine beds down, I lie on top of her.
Katharine (Ranger): Damn it, Todd! Pick your own spot to sleep, this one's mine.
Todd: I have picked my own. It's directly over yours.
Katharine: There are other people in this party, why don't you go sleep on one of them?
Todd: Because they already like me.

#ttrpg #GamingHumour #ToddTheTabaxi

GM: The horizon begins to lighten as the sun gets ready to rise. Your watch is over.
Todd (Tabaxi Bard): I stand on Katharine's chest.
Katharine (Ranger): ...
Todd: FEED ME!!!! GET UP AND FEED ME!!!!!!! I'M STARVING!!! FEED ME!!!!!!
Katharine: Oh, for fuck's sake!

#ttrpg #GamingHumour #ToddTheTabaxi

Part 2
GM: Okaaaay. Make some dex checks to leap over your sleeping companions.
Todd: Nope. Don’t even try. Just run straight across them.
Katharine (Ranger): Damn it Todd! It doesn’t count as a rest for ANYONE if you jump on our bladders every time you get the zoomies!!!!

#ttrpg #GamingHumour #ToddTheTabaxi

Part 2
GM: Okaaaay. Make some dex checks to leap over your sleeping companions.
Todd: Nope. Don’t even try. Just run straight across them.
Katharine (Barbarian): Damn it Todd! It doesn’t count as a rest for ANYONE if you jump on our bladders every time you get the zoomies!!!!

#ttrpg #GamingHumour #ToddTheTabaxi

Part 1
GM: Your watch is uneventful. Ever alert for signs of danger, you detect nothing but the normal nighttime sounds of the forest. A leaf rustles here. An owl hoots there.
Todd (Tabaxi Bard): Every time I hear a sound I rush across the camp site to investigate. Rustle? Dash! Hoot? Dash! Twig snap? Dash!
GM: It won’t count as a rest if you’re that act-
Todd: Don’t care. Dash!
GM: …

#ttrpg #GamingHumour #ToddTheTabaxi

GM: With that natural 1 on your save vs magic, you succumb completely to the wizard’s Charm spell. You like him more than you’ve ever liked anyone in your life.
Todd (Tabaxi Bard): I drop my weapons.
GM: Good.
Todd: I approach him.
GM: Okay.
Todd: I turn around and stick my asshole right in his face.
GM: There it is.

#ttrpg #GamingHumour #ToddTheTabaxi

Todd (Tabaxi Bard): I engage my Wigglebutt feat to dash forward and get +5 to hit.
GM: We've been over this, Todd -
Todd: Right, right, it's always on, I don't need to announce that I'm activating it.
GM: Well, yes that too, but the feat is called CHARGER!
Todd: (wiggles butt in chair) aaaaaaaaand POUNCE!

#ttrpg #GamingHumour #ToddTheTabaxi

GM: You enter what looks to be an alchemist's workshop. The walls are lined with shelves of beakers, bottles and vials of colourful liquids.
Todd (Tabaxi Bard): I swat one onto the floor.
GM: ...
Todd: I swat another one.
GM: They might be val-
Todd: I swat them all onto the floor one by one.
GM: WHYYYYYYYYY?
Todd: They know what they did.

#ttrpg #GamingHumour #ToddTheTabaxi

Katharine (Ranger): STAAAAHP leaving headless mice in my bedroll!
Todd (Tabaxi Bard): it’s for inspiration when you go hunting.

#ttrpg #GamingHumour #ToddTheTabaxi

Todd (Tabaxi bard): I cast Red Dot.
GM: Damnit, Todd! It’s called “Color Spray!”

#ttrpg #GamingHumour #ToddTheTabaxi