Ich werde zukünftig unter #toxicfamily immer mal wieder Dinge posten die mir geholfen haben, die Auswirkungen von vorgelebtem Narzissmus und allgemein toxischem Verhalten zu verstehen.

So kann das jeder stumm schalten den das belastet/nicht interessiert.

#toxicfamily

I was going to take my minimal-contact parent out for scones tomorrow for their birthday. It's a nice place in a park.

I find when I take them to places with plants and animals they are distracted and easier to be around. Still stressful given how toxic they are, but at least I can handle it for 45 minutes.

I just found out the place is closed until further notice 🙄

Now I'm scrambling to find a quiet place with pancakes or scones because someone complains about eating actual food 🙄 and it has to have decent coffee for me lol

I don't hate much, but when it comes to my parents... I need more trauma therapy 😂

#Family #ToxicFamily #CPTSD #TraumaRecovery

Living with a toxic family is my default standard of living. Everyday is a fight for survival. I feel like iam at a warzone.
#trauma #toxic #toxicfamily #survival

Living with a toxic family is my default standard of living. Everyday is a fight for survival. I feel like iam at a warzone everyday.
#trauma #toxic #toxicfamily #survival

Trying so hard to be excited about my upcoming #birthday

Idk if it's the med shortage, the #ToxicFamily drama, the usual #AutoimmuneDisease stuff or the #AuDHD

I make a big deal out of my birthdays as an adult because I didn't get that as a kid- I desperately want to be excited, but this year just seems to have me in a hole.

#Advice welcome
#ADHD #Autistic #plans

This birthday will be 7 years since I even got a happy birthday from my blood relatives/family of origin.

Naturally, that doesn't stop one of them from popping up to comment on an even older social media post saying they miss me, but they can't be bothered to message, call or email.

I'm just so tired of #ToxicFamily popping up when I least expect it. I wish people who have nothing nice to say about or to me would just stop talking about me, y'know?

#narcissist #narcissism #toxicfamily

Despite what a certain normative culture tries to force down our throats, Christmas isn’t necessarily correlated with happy family time. Families can be toxic. Family members can be bullies.
Let’s keep in mind that many of us feel distressed, depressed and unwell around the holiday season.
#ToxicFamily #estranged #mentalhealth #christmas #HolidaySeason

Sending love to those who are grieving lost loved ones this #HolidaySeason, whether thru #estrangement or passing. This season can be difficult. Find ppl that will hold u tight & give u the care u need & deserve. You are strong & beautiful, even in your #grief.

#FamilyEstrangement #lostLovedOnes #Estranged #EstrangedAdultChildren #lgbtCommunity #LGBTChristmas #LGBTHoliday #EstrangedHolidays #ChristmasGrief #HolidayGrief #ToxicFamily #ToxicFamilies #ToxicFamiliesAndHolidays #EstrangedLGBT

So you’re thinking about not spending time with your #ToxicFamily this #Christmas, #Hanukkah, #Festivus, #Atheist, but still enjoy a Christmas tree, etc., this year. Good on you!

Before settling in for a long winter’s nap in your kerchief or cap, I suggest the following:

1. Gird your loins – whatever this means to you. Meditation, medication, primal screams, working out, making time to do nothing, extra dog walks, watching the Colin Firth version of Pride and Prejudice or Throw Momma from the Train on endless repeat. Again, whatever works for you.

2. Let the least toxic family member know you’re sitting this year out.

3. Mute phone contacts who are #enablers and/or #FlyingMonkeys for the apex #narcissist, #borderline or #histrionic in anticipation of rolling #GuiltTrips, #shame, #balme and other #manipulation.

4. If you struggle with guilt and #obligation, #RealityTest x 100. Remember, choosing to opt out of abuse, drama and holiday histrionics isn’t wrong. Seriously, you're not doing anything wrong! You’re exercising healthy #boundaries and practicing #SelfCare.

As an adult, you get to choose what’s best for you. It is your responsibility to yourself.

Besides, opting out of holiday visits gives #NPD/ #BPD/ #HPD parent, sibling, etc., fresh #ProfessionalVictim™ material. And let’s face, they’re going to victim it up whether you visit or not.

And, since they love nothing more than a nice new juicy tale of victimhood, your absence is the best gift you can give them!

In other words, "You’re welcome, mom and/or dad!"

#AbuseHasNoGender #NPDfreeChristmas #BPDfreeChristmas

@actuallyautistic

2nd Most Hated 'seasonal' Question:
"So will you be spending time with family?"

No, no I will not!
(This answer would be met with an Extremely Alarmed expression!)

Because we're estranged, because they are really damaging people and I choose to spend my time with people who love me, and treat me well.

I feel like I should retreat into a cave during December to avoid these questions... !!!

#ActuallyAutistic
@actuallyautistic
#estranged #ToxicFamily #Introvert

"How to set boundaries with family — and stick to them"

https://www.npr.org/2021/01/25/960423678/how-to-set-boundaries-with-family-and-stick-to-them?utm_term=nprnews&utm_campaign=npr&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com

#npr #boundaries #family #toxicfamily #psychology #narcissism #npd #holidays

We both have been dealing with #toxicfamily and #familytrauma We create our own holidays as a kind of healing. If you have the same struggle then you’re welcome to celebrate with us.

For anyone who still needs some third party "permission" to opt out of a #ToxicFamily #Thanksgiving: Feel the guilt and say no anyway!

A socially distanced, manageable guilt trip is way better than in your face blame, shame, rage, pout and tantrum with turkey and stuffing. Also, if you family guilt trips and shames you for practicing #selfcare and #boundaries, that tells you all you need to know. In other words, opting out is the sane choice!

#npdfreechristmas #bpdfreechristmas #npd #bpd #hpd #narcissist #borderline #AbuseHasNoGender

#shitmydadsaid #emotionalabuse #PTSD #toxicfamily #patreon #disabledartist #mentalhealth #cptsd #comics #graphicmemoir #childhoodtrauma #trauma #childhoodmemories #speedsketch #straighttoink

I had 3 minutes to draw a comic in a workshop yesterday, and this is what came out.
It wasn't what was supposed to come out - the exercise was supposed to be fiction. But I hadn't expected that. And suddenly I wasn't just caught off guard - I was triggered and in full-on panic.
I'm proud of myself for not fleeing the class, proud of myself for staying present & using the exercise to instead ask myself *why*.
The "why" matters. I know I'm not the only one with this awful screeching voice in my head sometimes. Kids are sponges. They soak up every single lesson you teach them - including the ones you don't intend. And those lessons, both good and bad, stick with us. Kinda like the Bumblebee Tuna jingle that was popular when I was a kid, and the commercial for Monchhichis. I still know every word! I'll spare you the earworms, but I'd love it if you'd read what I wrote about the messages we get as kids, and the ways they affect us still as adults. I hope you'll find the hope in it, too, that we can all do better by each other & the generations to come.
Here's the link:
https://www.patreon.com/posts/3-minute-memory-68070626
Also? I'm sending virtual hugs to anyone who needs one. ❤️
* * *

Gestern hatte ich Nico aka #Grille von der #ToxicFamily bei #xwieraus auf #radiox 91.8 FM im #Interview. Wir sprachen über sein neues Late-Night-Format, die gerade im Aufbau befindliche http://www.technonanimals.de Community und vieles mehr. Das Interview könnt Ihr auf #Mixcloud hören. #frankfurt #techno #xwr #tofa 📻 https://www.mixcloud.com/marcrodrigues/interview-mit-nico-ruhm-aka-grille-toxic-family-radio-x-frankfurt-xwr-2020-04-18/

Gestern hatte ich Nico aka #Grille von der #ToxicFamily bei #xwieraus auf #radiox 91.8 FM im #Interview. Wir sprachen über sein neues Late-Night-Format, die gerade im Aufbau befindliche http://www.technonanimals.de Community und vieles mehr. Das Interview könnt Ihr auf #Mixcloud hören. #frankfurt #techno #xwr #tofa 📻 https://www.mixcloud.com/marcrodrigues/interview-mit-nico-ruhm-aka-grille-toxic-family-radio-x-frankfurt-xwr-2020-04-18/

Veranstaltungssendung? (Radio-)Show must go on! Ich moderiere morgen das Veranstaltungsmagazin #xwieraus auf #radiox 91.8 FM. Meine Telefongästen sind morgen #Grille, DJ & Veranstalter von der #ToxicFamily und Alexander Beck vom Theater #AlteBrücke. Beide gehen sehr originell mit der Veranstaltungsfreien Zeit um. Stay, safe, stay in, and tune in! #tofa #toxicfamily #frankfurt

📻 SA 18.04, 18h, #xwr, www.radiox.de/live

Veranstaltungssendung? (Radio-)Show must go on! Ich moderiere morgen das Veranstaltungsmagazin #xwieraus auf #radiox 91.8 FM. Meine Telefongästen sind morgen #Grille, DJ & Veranstalter von der #ToxicFamily und Alexander Beck vom Theater #AlteBrücke. Beide gehen sehr originell mit der Veranstaltungsfreien Zeit um. Stay, safe, stay in, and tune in! #tofa #toxicfamily #frankfurt

📻 SA 18.04, 18h, #xwr, www.radiox.de/live