So last night I had a very weird dream, where I decided to meet up with my cis ex gf, in the dream she was her normal self, and even in dream I was sceptical as she was mentally abusive, during the dream we had been watching a show about trans men, when she turned to me tears in eyes, said "I have something to tell you" she took off her very femme top and bra and revealed she had top surgery and was going by he/him, during the meeting we went out had fun and he was confident and I was attracted to him and he was lovely and kind, apologised for his actions in the past and had grown, we made love and it all felt very real until I woke up, ffs why does this person still have a hold on my heart even after all this time. I know she was abusive, but that dream just fucked up 4 years of progress. If it had been real life and like in the dream, I wouldn't be able to turn away even now

#trans #transisbeatiful #dreams #subconscious #brain #transproblems #love #yearning #transwoman

Congrats to me on hitting a vein while doing my #HRT shot. I suppose it was bound to happen eventually.

#trans #TransProblems

Online GTA is the place where my alter ego lives. No bullshit, no binders~
--
All support goes straight to attempt at surviving this shit. Anything beyond that off to savings for top surgery 👑
--
ko-fi.com/blackwood
--
#smallartist #smallartistclub #lgbtartist #transartis #transproblems #digitalartwork #gta #gangster #neon

I just spent an hour trying to mix and match outfits to a few key pieces of clothing I want to wear and...uh...

Well, I learned that I definitely need more blouses, for a start. Right now, that only ones I have are ruffle blouses that fit with my lolita skirts but don't fit with the rest (long or short), but I'm having trouble finding women's button-up tops that fit my neck and arm-length that don't then have 5~10 inches extra on my waist.

#Trans #TransProblems #Fashion #Clothes

I keep meaning to buy sensible mid heels, but there's always a beautiful pair of 10cm heels on sale. I guess the question is how often I'm going to wear any kind of heels, and if it isn't better to wear the ones I really like, but which are a little more difficult to stand in... #transexpenses #shopping #transproblems

That reminds me: my PGP key from 15 years ago is under my deadname. I should just create a new one.

#Transgender #Trans #TransProblems #PGP

Fck forgot to do my T shot. Meh. I’ll do it tomorrow. Just two days late. No big. #TransProblems

When you change Siri’s voice and then you have to change Siri’s pronouns #TransProblems

big steps yesterday, i have started using my chosen name socially. i go by Wren now, also had to move my account to a new profile which was using a temp chosen name (riley). 🤷‍♀️ so confusing. #transgender #mtf #transproblems

When you're so high you misgender yourself in your own head, then you realize and feel like shit
#trans #high #transproblems

When you're so high you misgender yourself in your own head, then you realize and feel like shit
#trans #high #transproblems

Finally got my birth certificate with amendments!!!! This is so exciting. I got my name changed July 31st 2019 and I’ve been waiting for like 2+ months for my birth certificate to be amended and sent back 😭 #transproblems

Me: Starts email with “Hi, my name is Sariel”

Me: Ends email signing “Cheers! Sariel”

Google: shows quoted content as “on 07.09.2019 at 01:07 *deadname* wrote:”

Person answering the email: “HELLO *DEADNAME*”

#transproblems #enbyproblems