I was looking at #jobs earlier, and all I could see was one compromise after the other. Imagine! To be comfortable in this capitalist system, I have to spend my time - my life - furthering someone else's capitalist agenda, nationalistic ideals, or otherwise work to concentrate someone else's #power & resources. And the folks who say they do something different appear to all be lying - I suppose someone has to pay them too in the end, how else could they afford my cushy day #rate?

I suppose I could #volunteer, or pay for #learning opportunities and adopt someone else's way of viewing the world for a while. That'll make me feel better! Or I could start walking on someone's road to #spiritual enlightenment and tell myself that, if these people say it's OK, then it must be. Even self-employed as a most #progressive #consultant, #facilitator, #coach, #therapist or - fuck it - #white #shaman #entrepreneur, I help people reflect and #dream for just a moment so that they can get the fuck back to #work. How else could they afford my #competitive hourly rate?

And now I'm getting old! I wish I could say that I'm looking forward to what the next generation will come up with, but then the world is ending so... So perhaps things are just shot to shit, #ragnarok is coming and I'm getting #old

Well, at least I #served a #purpose throughout my life. I fed the leeches at the top by giving them my #time, paying my #taxes, tossing my #vote, and generally being #busy and #good in #fear of not ending up a #bum, in #prison, or worse! At least I wasn't (openly) #racist, I kept my #sexism to my personal relationships and only implicitly supported the #patriarchy by insisting it's not there at all. I'm definitely a #feminist though, I was always terrified of my #mom. And although it really made me feel better to #judge people who were fatter, poorer or weaker than me, I only occasionally shared my true feelings with them. Oh, and not to mention the folks with smaller #dicks - haha! - and #black folks, #women or #queer people, thank Thor and the Lord and the Lady that I'm dying before I can no longer feel #superior to them!

But I wasn't bad. I did enjoy cheering for #BLM, and #XR, go you! For a moment there, I felt like even I was doing something! (Although #UFC and the #worldcup were more fun.) But mostly, I suppose, I mastered the art of shutting the #fuck up, silently enjoying my #safety and my #priviledge, and - oh, this I did really well - quickly inventing new #excuses for my pale & hairy ass in the elevator up to my 28th floor #hotdesking space. Change? How? I mean, it was just never the right time... And hey, my therapist and men's group think I'm alright!

OK, well, it is the time for me to #die now. Fuck #Heaven, fuck #WhiteJesus, fuck #politicians, the #rich and their lackeys the #police & #military, fuck my #priest, and fuck all of my self-help and other educative #preachers and #gurus, and then fuck everyone else who I #blame for my dreadfully #unfulfilling, #unhelpful, #disempowered and #mediocre #white existence

If only I had cared a little less for my own #comfort and a little more for people around me, then maybe I would have become an #anarchist. Alas, it's too late now, my ergonomically certified office chair has ground my #balls into dust

Please send me straight to #Hell because, in all #honesty, it's what we all know I deserve