#Unmasking is an interesting experience. I'm moving cautiously but I like it.

Today in a work meeting, someone referenced the city of Cairns with a word that rhymed. And I said,

"So, unrelated, but here's something cool. The Auslan sign for Cairns is basically miming opening a (ring pull) can*. (I demonstrated). I think that's amazing, especially given it's an auditory pun."

People laughed (with me, I'm pretty sure). And I said, "It's just you made a rhyme with Cairns and it reminded me."

So *very* #autistic, and people didn't mind (even enjoyed the little thought burp) - and most of all, I got to just let something out instead of masking. Previously, I would have thought it and then suppressed the urge to let it out.

Good times.

____

*In many Australian accents, Cairns and cans sound the same. We don't do the 'r' sound.

Going to bed at 10pm and getting up early 8 hours later is just some neurotypical behavior I don't need to adhere to.

#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #Unmasking

my #unmasking journey is currently feeling rewarding and exciting.

rented a dream car for the day. a gorgeous bmw 4 series convertible.

drove it down the coast. drank in the pages of a new book on a nude beach.

completely alone and unencumbered with needing to cultivate or nurture conversation.

just spent time with my thoughts, ideas, opinions.

did not invite anyone. even told my roommate why i needed this time.

i feel profoundly recharged. need to do stuff like that more often.

Is it jus me? As a late identified #ActuallyAutistic person dealing w #unmasking & #anxiety , I am finding that I really appreciate virtual #MentalHealth appointments!

- I’m able to speak authentically, or not speak, without social pressures like eye contact or how I hold/move my body

- the interactions feel more focused on the issues at hand

- maybe most importantly, I have freedom to create & be in my own space and vibe before, during, & after the appt

Such subtle fancy ner' seen,
To cast aside, all that's been,
Find the truth that dwells inside,
To seek the ourselves, apart the lie.

#poem #unmasking #actuallyautistic

Me: can you tell I am becoming weirder?

My friend: yes it's great!

🥰

#unmasking #adhd #autism

@ShinoMe @actuallyautistic 😥 And judged again when we cannot keep it up, the costs it incurs, the damage it causes, or when we decide we cannot try to do it anymore. #autistic #autism #unmasking

@actuallyautistic 2 of 2
I've often been told, "You are the worst interviewee I've ever had, and if it wasn't for..." Every piece of feedback I got, I'd write down and research until I got very good at being interviewed and interviewing. People who knew me then struggle to reconcile the person they met, the professional mask I created, and the person I am now, which is inextricably between them. #actuallyautistic #autistic #unmasking #autism #audhd

@RenoirDana @doggle @actuallyautistic

It was only in the spring of 2019 when I started to take the concept of Autism seriously (in myself, but I was also not helpful to others).

Fast forward to last fall when, after getting Lyme Disease, the after-effects meant that I had random pains and fatigue. Turns out that my ability to mask diminished considerably.

Hmmm this is what I'm naturally like...

A recent "event" caused a full-on involuntary #Unmasking for a week so far.

Today I promise that I will never again tell myself that I'm acting immature, or that people might think I'm not adult enough, or any of those things, for following the lines in the pavement, walking on kerbs and other such patterns. It's too much fun to miss out on. And if it brings you joy, and/or regulation, too, you should join me. Be kind to yourself

#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #AutisticJoy #unmasking

@actuallyautistic

Autism medical alert cards are a thing! I found mine on Etsy, and you may want to grab one too.

Many of us high-masking autistics probably haven’t thought about having something like this, but there are good reasons we should consider it, one of which highlighted on this very card, which is why I bought it:

“Do not assume because I look ‘normal’ that I am not in crisis.”

So many of us have had the experience of being pressured to process input and respond to it faster than our brains can do it, and that pressure exacerbates the problem. If we otherwise seem “normal”, people are less likely to be understanding about what’s happening, and they may make unfair and sometimes downright judgmental assumptions.

When I was about 19, I had a meltdown in the middle of a therapy session. Neither I nor my therapist understood what was happening, so she panicked and called an ambulance. By the time I was in that ambulance, I was almost entirely calm, and the ambulance driver was understandably confused. At the hospital I remember hearing him tell someone “she’s just sad.” It was a humiliating day that resulted in a devastating bill.

I feel safer knowing I have this card on my lanyard. (My lanyard is my totem!) If I’m acting strange in any way, or need help, the card will not only provide context to overwrite their assumptions, but also information on how to treat me appropriately.

Plus - maybe they’ll learn something about autistic people in general that they’ll carry forward into their lives! 😁

#actuallyautistic #asd #autism #selfadvocacy #highmasking #unmasking

slowly coming to terms with part of my #unmasking process being no longer pretending i don't have "keeping track of what everyone else is doing" as a special interest :p

#livejournal

slowly coming to terms with part of my #unmasking process being no longer pretending i don't have "keeping track of what everyone else is doing" as a special interest :p

Recently my old account on another instance disappeared so I'm starting fresh here.

I hate #introductions so I'm gonna take the advice of a mentor and just write without overthinking it and cringe later.

Hi I'm Chai, I realised I'm @actuallyautistic / #autistic almost 10 years ago and was told by multiple psychs at the time that it was not possible to diagnose an adult woman. Things have changed since then, and I might seek a diagnosis soon but it's expensive. I do have some resources that I'm thinking of following up with.

I have recently quit my job due to burnout and I'm trying to follow "intuitive" life, inspired by my success with intuitive eating that stopped me hating my body. I am struggling through the burocracy of #germany to get unemployment money to support this. My partner and I are struggling with money for the first time and it's scary.

I love #videogames and #music and many other things. Due to burnout I don't really have any passions right now but I hope that will change.

I am outdoorsy but not adventurous - this means I like hiking and sitting by the lake but not mountain biking or skiing. I've never been mountainbiking or skiing.

I love to read and have recently gotten back into reading #books but - again - burnout has stripped me of all my passions.

I am working on #unmasking and I am really feeling skills regression lately, as well as pretty severe memory loss. This is painful but I'm trying to accept it because after practicing intuitive eating I know there is something good at the end.

I have recently been #travelling, #painting and #nesting to try and make my home safe and cosy.

I am #queer, #nonbinary (woman for political reasons only), but I have imposter syndrome after being in a straight passing relationship for 11+ years. I would love to feel more "out" but I don't know where to start

German
Thema Masking / Unmasking:

Wie viele andere autistische Menschen, hab ich ein heftiges Burnout erlitten, sobald ich angefangen habe Vollzeit zu arbeiten.
Ich musste mir überlegen, welche Stressfaktoren ich irgendwie schmälern konnte.
Autistisches Masking hatte ich zuvor im Studium und der Ausbildung geradezu perfektioniert und das zieht so viel Energie.

Ich bin eine Person, die unmasked recht monoton redet, kaum Mimik zeigt und typisch "blunt" (stumpf / direkt) ist. Das trifft gerne auf Missverständnisse, Menschen die zu viel in fehlende Mimik reininterpretieren, das sehr persönlich nehmen und im schlimmsten Fall internalisierte Stereotypen auf mich projizieren (the angry BPoC / Migra).
Vor allem im Berufsleben sind das alles Dinge, die ich als weiblich sozialisierte (femme presenting) Person in einer Männer dominierten Berufssparte vermeiden möchte.
Neben der Tatsache, dass Masking allerdings extrem Energieraubend ist, musste ich in den letzten Monaten vor allem feststellen, dass ich mich auch einfach nicht mehr, wie ich selbst gefühlt habe.
Um Konflikt zu vermeiden, weil mir immer suggeriert wurde, dass ich an allem Schuld habe, habe ich so oft mit meiner Meinung hinter'm Zaun gehalten. Ich wurde zum people pleaser und wenn ihr Leute fragt, die mich als Teenager / junge Erwachsene kannten, dann werden die euch sagen, dass ich alles war, aber vor allem kein people pleaser.

Kommunikation ist keine Einbahnstraße. Das ist etwas, das ich in der autistischen Community gelernt habe. Ich bin nicht alleine Schuld an Missverständnissen oder "schlechter" Kommunikation. Dazu gehören zwei Parteien und nichts möchte ich lieber, als wieder "blunt" meine Meinungen, meine Überzeugen zu kommunizieren. Alles andere bin nicht ich.

Die Menschen, die irgendwie zu mir gehören, werden all das lernen, verstehen und mit mir gemeinsam eine Art zu kommunizieren finden, die zu uns beiden passt. Das Commitment autistische Menschen misszuverstehen ablegen und lernen Vorurteile zu hinterfragen, vor allem im Zusammenhang mit Masking / Unmasking.
Und wer weiß, vielleicht helfen solche Geschichten einigen Leuten, das selbe zu tun.

Tags:
#ActuallyAutistic #Masking #Unmasking #Autismus #Autism

hey new people! let's do another introduction!

I'm an #ActuallyAutistic #ELA #middleschool #teacher and #SpokenWord performer, & I use this space to blog about my work as a human, professional, and creative as I learn how to navigate the world, having been recently self-diagnosed as being very firmly on the Autism spectrum

I was late diagnosed bc I'm old (Gen X) & I dont fit the typical mold of men on the spectrum. I'm working on #unmasking & normalizing #mentalhealth struggles

🕉️ ☮️ ❤️ ✊

As autistic people we are really into The Truth™. We tend to think everyone needs proper, accurate, up-to-date information about all the things, and they should be grateful to us for dispensing that information, anywhere and everywhere we go. 😂 Unfortunately, this can drive people nuts, which frustrates the hell out of us.

"If they weren't so damn emotional, they'd be able to handle THE FACTS!"

But here's another fact - people prioritize their safety above all other things. If the truth we want them to see makes them feel unsafe, their mind will protect themselves from it. They will find a way to rationalize our points away like their life depended on it - which, according to their nervous system, it does.

This, my friends, is how you get an agent.

It's effortless to apply the dialogue spoken in this scene onto our current world. We are all very much 'plugged in' to something, even if it's not digital. We are so dependent on it and entwined within it, it's impossible to survive while also upholding any consistent moral integrity.

But so few of us are willing to confront how often we have to push our integrity aside for the almighty dollar. We don't want to admit we've been had, chasing our carrots, running on the treadmill that refuels our own oppression, in this cult of delayed gratification.

And there's nothing we can do to change the mind of an agent. We just have to protect ourselves from them until we gather the strength to build a new culture where survival doesn't cost our souls.

“It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends on his not understanding it.” Upton Sinclair

#thematrix #thematrixisreal #moviequotes #actuallyautistic #spiritualawakening #unmasking

⚠ Spoiler Warning - The Matrix (1999) ⚠ The Matrix is available to stream on HBO Max.

I realized on my drive to school this morning that this year’s kids will always be the kids that were in my classes during the first school year I started #unmasking

this end of year situation is going to be an emotional rollercoaster ❤️ 😭

#teaching #ActuallyAutistic

The part in #ChloeHayden ‘s book, Different, Not Less, where she includes “reciting poetry” as an #ActuallyAutistic stim 👀❤️

That’s how I’ve been able to memorize so many of my #SpokenWord pieces. I found myself reciting them not to rehearse but to hear & feel the words. It makes me feel good

the reality of #unmasking so late is: even these lil things are HUGE - simple realities that I missed forever bc 👉I’d let the mask get all the way into my brain

and when someone speaks it, it floors me ❤️

Not my graphic, but was REALLY helpful for me. I only recently learned about alexithymia, but I have suffered from it my entire life. Together with being autistic, it has had major, unwelcome impacts on my life. #AuthenticSelf #Autism #Alexithymia #Unmasking #AutisticUnmasking #SelfDiscovery